Friday, June 27, 2008


Vivian Elebiyo was born in 1979 in West Africa. Ms. Elebiyo’s specialties include abstinence, humor, spirituality, goal setting, and topics pertaining to self-packaging, women’s struggles, self-help on relationships, and finances.

Ms. Elebiyo is a Life Coach, Speaker, and Poet. She is a Certified Abstinence Educator for the State of Florida

She holds a bachelor’s degree in business administration from Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University and is currently pursuing a master’s degree in counseling at the Center for Biblical Studies. She currently resides in Houston, Texas where she writes about sex, dating, and the teenage experience.

My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life

What does "virginity" really mean? Is there really any difference between sexual intercourse and making out? My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life discusses everything about virginity, all the questions that ravage today's youth, what to do—and what "not" to do—with the opposite sex. An honest first book that is both brutally frank and firmly morally grounded, it will be instantly recognized as an invaluable addition to the literature on abstinence. What the book has to say is so forceful, so charged, so unflinching—yet, so true—it will leave readers both wincing in embarrassment and nodding in assent on recognizing its truth.

My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life is a book geared towards young adults, it teaches the tools to saying “No” to premarital sex and it gives good dating tips and tips on setting boundaries. In today’s world young adults are bombarded with sexual innuendos on T.V., sexually perverse messages on the radio, and nude images on magazines. My Virginity is Ruining my Sex Life helps them find that inner strength to stay untouched by the gratification the world has to offer which does not last long. Whether dealing with lack of self-control, or hurt from participating in sexual activities, or with emotional and out of control relationships, My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life encourages and challenges readers to make a choice to walk in abstinence and not to give up the fight to stay sexually pure.

What would you like your readers to take away from your book?

My Virginity is Ruining My Sex Life will teach you the art of saying ‘no’ and how to command respect for your values. You will learn that as a woman, you set the standard and any man who is not willing to follow the blueprint must find another builder. This book will nourish your mind, body and spirit.

You will trade away your weaknesses, disappointments, and failures for a more resilient, stronger, and self-assured YOU! You would learn to transmute your sexual energy in more productive ventures.

What did you learn while writing this book?

While writing this book I had to share a lot about my experiences and digging into my past mistakes wasn’t particularly exciting. I have made my share of mistakes; I have some regrets and I have gotten confused about how chaste I really am. But over the past few years, I decided to live a life that I could look back on and be proud of, by keeping my body intact, everything together, the way God intended it to be. I still have to fight temptations every day; some days I have fallen, at least in my mind. The truth is, no one is perfect. You make mistakes, you learn and you move on. I have learned that I am only human and that I am not perfect but most importantly I have learned that overcoming our mistakes and weaknesses can someday help somebody else.

What inspired this book?

The inspiration for this book came from a conversation with a friend about saving sex for marriage and getting rejected by men in the process. The conversation lasted for hours as we both recounted all the men that broke up with us because we decided not to have sex with them.
What is the hardest part about the writing business?

Writing can be very exciting but like other things in life there can be issues. The hardest part about the writing business is actually being able to sell your ideas to others and get your book published for others to read. Most writers dream of seeing their works in the hands of millions of readers around the globe but for a lot of talented writers it’s a dream that never happens because the writing business is the hardest to break into.

What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?

Our words are our weapon and writing is the greatest weapon of all, created by God and given to men.

What marketing have you found that particularly works well for you?

The word of mouth marketing has been the most effective for me and the marketing of my book. I also use the internet as a tool, most of the networking pages like myspace, and facebook,
have been really helpful.

What are three things you wish you'd known before you reached where you are now?

1. Listen more to my heart
2. Give more time to my passion instead of other things.
3. Be more aggressive about my dreams.

This month our theme is Mainstream Fiction. Can you give us five mainstream authors you read?

1. Jackie Collins
2. Nora Roberts
3. Danielle Steel
4. William Shakespeare
5. Maya Angelou

Do you have any advice for the aspiring writer?

My advice to an aspiring writer is to focus on your passion for writing put all you can into it and venture out on your own first and keep trying to submit your manuscript to publishers.
It is also important to do your research and understand the business aspect of writing it takes more than just passion to get your work into the hands of readers.

How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)

Readers can contact me through mail at:
Vivian Speaks, Inc.
P.O. Box 7018
Tallahassee, FL 32314,,,

1 comment:

LaShaunda said...


Thank you so much for the interview. I look forward to letting my children read your book when they are older. It should be an interesting conversation.

Many blessings to you and your writing.

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