Saturday, November 22, 2008
FEATURED AUTHOR: Stacey Nelson
Order in the House
God’s Heart Concerning the Marriage Covenant is the remedy for strong healthy marriages. It is an easy read spiritual/ self-help book. It addresses the perplexing issues of today’s couples. This book deals with the purpose and intention of the marriage covenant. Difficult questions are answered such as, why your spouse, with all of his or her faults, is perfect for you. God removes all the guesswork by making it very practical and clear in understanding your roles as husband and wife. He walks you step-by-step through the process of how to fulfill those roles and how to connect with each other for purpose. Additionally, He reveals poor choices that couples often make providing the enemy an entryway into their marriages. By using the author’s vulnerability and weaknesses, couples are able to locate themselves so God can lead them to a place of dominating their domain in marriage. Areas where the enemy once had a stronghold, causing the author’s marriage to suffer and nearly end in divorce, are revealed in detail. “Order in the House,” reveals how men and women communicate differently. It explains the importance of meeting the needs of your spouse and not focusing on your own needs. At the same time, how to get your needs met (by God) until your spouse’s change comes. It teaches how to take on a new mind-set and fight God’s way, not the world’s way. It dispels the lies of the enemy, using the Word of God. Most importantly, it reveals how one individual can change the dynamics of his or her marriage. It explores various issues such as using sex as a weapon, couples meeting the needs of their spouse, allowing family and friends to be involved in your daily affairs, selfishness and much more.
What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
I want readers to understand that marriage is not easy and for those who are struggling in marriage, you are not alone. It is a process and because the dynamics of marriage can be so complicated, we need to return to the Creator of the covenant. God has set aside tools, principles, and biblical truths inside this self-help read that will help every marriage experience victory. The success of your marriage has very little to do with your spouse, but everything to do with how you connect with your Father in heaven. I find that many of us are spinning our wheels trying to be successful, trying to fix our marriages, and trying to take care of our problems when the real solution is bringing God back into the equation. We do not have all the answers as seen in the astronomical divorce rate. He is the answer to all of our dilemmas.
What did you learn while writing this book?
I learned that PURPOSE must remain at the forefront of my mind. Many times God shows us the end and our job is to trust Him and go…I found that there are many u-turns, dead ends, one-way streets, road closed construction zones on the path to birthing the finished project. The only way I was able to finish it was to remember that God gave the assignment and it was much bigger than I was. My purpose of meeting the needs of married couples was wrapped inside the assignment so how dare I say no. There were times when I wanted to quit, times when I wanted to cry and complain to God that the assignment was too hard, times when I felt the enemy had won and I would never see my book published, but God would always remind that His strength was made perfect in my weakness. He would always remind me that it was not about me. It was much bigger than I was and because He gave the assignment, the enemy could not stop me. God’s purpose caused me to triumph!
What is the hardest part about the writing business?
The most difficult part about the writing business is just like any other job. It’s all about whom you know when it comes to getting your foot in the door. As I look back over the entire process, writing the book was the easy part. Promoting my work was more challenging because I’m the new kid on the block. If you do not have an established name the industry, big publishers are not banging down your door offering a contract deal. Top book reviewers may look over a new writer’s work for a more familiar author. One of the lessons I learned from going through this process as a new author is that it takes creativity, dedication, and patience.
What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
The one thing about the writing business I wish non-writers would understand is that it truly is a job just like any other job. I think family members especially have the misconception that authors are not “really” working because they spend most of there time at home. Writing is not a traditional assignment but it definitely is a job and it takes a lot of mental work, quiet time, and meditation, especially for those writing spiritual self-help books.
Our theme this month is Time Management. How do you do to manage your writing time?
Well, because I am a wife, mother, and I also work a traditional job, time management is crucial. During my time spent writing the book, thankfully I was a stay-at-home mom. I would do all of my writing while my family was asleep. Although I returned to work during the home stretch of the project, I still try to maintain a writing/ promotion schedule of working around my family’s schedule in order to keep some type of normalcy within the family unit. It is important that I remember God has given the assignment of meeting the needs of couples. He always reminds me that my first priority is to minister to my family.
What are three things you wish you'd known before you reached where you are now?
I wish I’d known that giving birth to this assignment and raising this “baby” was just as challenging and even more difficult than raising my own children. At least with my own children, I’m in control, I make all the decisions and in their early, tender stages, I provide care that aims them in the direction of success. With my own children, each of my actions precipitated an (almost immediate) reaction with them. I’ve found that it doesn’t quite work that way with promotion. I’m not as in control as I’d like to be. Doors do not fly open just because I’m their knocking and it doesn’t matter that I have all my “ducks in a row” there remains a waiting game that causes even the strong at heart to sometimes grow faint. Perseverance is a virtue I’ve adopted and believe all novice writers must possess.
Was there ever a time in your writing career you thought of quitting?
Absolutely, I believe every writer at one point in their career has had second thoughts. Writing is in the creative arts category and we all have heard about the “starving artist.” Success doesn’t just happen for writers, actors, musicians or artists. We have to plow the field until we’ve made a name for ourselves. It is definitely a work in progress and we learn survival skills, like working other jobs, as we wait for the door of opportunity to open. The only reason I believe we keep going is that we believe in the good we have to offer. I personally cannot stop because of the blessing God wants to give the people.
Do you have any advice for the aspiring writer?
The advice I have for the aspiring writer is to never take no for an answer. I have a pastor who I sincerely look up to who once said no is the acronym for not over. Believe in yourself. Believe in what your gut is telling you. Do not be afraid to step outside the box or go beyond your circle. Fear is a definite part of the growing equation. If you do not have a hint of anxiety causing your heart to flutter then you are not living, you’re simply surviving and let me assure you that if you are suppose to be doing something greater than what you are putting your hands to right now, you will become very frustrated. Go for it!
What are you thankful for this year?
I am thankful for many things and one of them being the ability to finish the assignment God gave me. It is an awesome blessing to see my first book in print and more importantly to receive feedback of how the lives of married couples are changing because of this work.
Five questions about books:
One book you’ve read more than once.
The Lady, Her Lover, Her Lord by one of my favorite authors, Pastor TD Jakes. I absolutely love this book and recommend it to every woman because God has given Jakes the gift of ministering to the deep issues of a woman’s heart. I also recommend it to every man because it will give him a better understanding of women.
One book you couldn’t put down until you finished.
The Prayer of Jabez by Bruce Wilkinson was one book I just couldn’t put down. It truly empowers one to break through to the blessed life. Sometimes God astounds me as He places a hint of His greatness into vessels to be used as tools to bless His people.
One book that made you laugh.
I’m sure I’ve read at least one but I can’t think of a book that has made me laugh lately. I’m more of a “serious” reader. Pleasurable books for me are those that inform, educate, and challenges readers to move into action. I love a self- help book that challenge me to take a long hard look at myself and provides me with the tools to move past that place.
One book that made you cry.
I Hope You Dance by Mark D. Sanders & Tia Sillers. This awesome read makes you think, inquire, and ponder. It motivates, keeps one hopeful and has a tender way of moving you into action. I simply love it.
One book you wish you'd written.
The one book I wish I had written is without a doubt The Secret. I have to be honest and say that I did not really care for the way the book was written. I thought it was a difficult read and it didn’t keep my attention. However, The Secret DVD was phenomenal. I wholeheartedly believe that what we put out there is going to come back. We will reap what we have sown.
How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
I have an online marriage ministry, Passionately Pursuing Purpose Ministries, and I would love all your readers to visit us at http://www.3pministries.com/. It ministers to the needs of married couples and singles who want to marry. I would also encourage readers to contribute to our ministry by e-mailing links/ resources they feel would help strengthen families. Readers can contact us by e-mail at: email@example.com. My new release, Order in the House-God’s Heart Concerning the Marriage Covenant, can be purchased through my website, various online distributors, and national bookstores.
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