Risky Pleasures
Brenda Jackson
Kimani Romance
Kimani Press
ISBN: 0373860129
Published: May 2007
Romance
Rating: 4 ½ Stars
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Vanessa Steele is the only female family member working with her male cousins in the family business. She’s also the only member of the family who seems to hold a grudge for life.
Cameron Cody is a highly successful, corporate business raider, who was unsuccessful in taking over the Steele family business. He has now set his sights on taking over Vanessa’s heart.
Vanessa has been avoiding Cameron like the plague since his failed attempt to take over the family business. When she learns that Cameron is coming to Charlotte, she decides to house sit for her cousin, Cheyenne, in Jamaica. Cameron is warned by Vanessa cousin, Morgan, that she has flown the coop. So, he decides on an impromptu trip to Jamaica to capture his hearts desire. After an encounter on the beach, Vanessa is drawn to Cameron like a moth to a flame and decides to play with fire on her own terms. She soon discovers how deeply certain fires can burn.
Mrs. Jackson has done an excellent job with this latest addition to the Steele family saga. She highlighted the romance of Jamaica while helping Vanessa and Cameron come to terms with their emotional baggage from previous relationships. The way some members the Steele family help Cameron in his quest to win Vanessa’s heart is touching. This one is a real page turner.
Shattered Souls
Dywane Birch
Strebor BooksPress
ISBN: 1-59309-110-9
May 2007
Erotica/Romance
Reviewed by: Michelle Alexander
Rating: 4 Stars - EXELLENT
Zane presents this book featuring four friends, Britton and Damascus (males) and Chyna and Indera (females) which makes for an interesting combination, not often seen in romance books. But there is a secret in their pasts that links them all together.
Britton now lives in the Dominican Republic, committment free. His mother shot his abusive father and he is now plagued by his dying father's request to come see him one last time.
Damascus nicknamed Tee is a male stripper whose sexcapades with women go beyond
crazy, but inside his doggish heart, he has a secret love for one of his friends.
Chyna is the consummate suburban wife, married to a mortician and mother to a rebellious teen whose problems link to a secret in Chyna's past.
Indera "Hates Men," but has more sex than most women but always by her rules. Because of a trauma in her past she has no boundaries and exacts meticulous revenge.
This book is really interesting and will keep you on the edge of your seat. Indy is the most interesting and funny character, but her criminal propensities as well the romantic ending make her one to watch in future novels.
Golden Night
Candice Poarch
Dafina Contemporary Romance
Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0-7582-1977-6
Published: April 2007
Contemporary Romance
Rating: 2 ½ Stars – Good
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Upon her aunt’s death, Gabrielle inherits her B & B and an eclectic cast of characters who keep hounding her as to the whereabouts of an heirloom golden bowl. Gabrielle hires Cornell to prepare the meals at the B & B, so she can help clean rooms, do paperwork, and hire a new housekeeper (since her cousin only shows up when she’s in the mood). Her grandmother keeps warning her not to get involved with that “Price boy”, but neither Gabby nor Cornell can deny the sparks that fly when they are in the same room together. Murder and mayhem become the order of the day when the islanders are suddenly faced with a series of break-ins along with an unsolved murder.
GOLDEN NIGHT is a good book with an interesting storyline, but it seems contrived at times. There were too many characters running around; many of whom I felt were just there as “fillers”. There are a host of cousins milling about, but two of them, Alyssa and Skeeter, are introduced in the beginning of the book and not heard from again until the end. Skeeter, the cousin who disappears around the time of the first murder, and Alyssa, the police detective who is out of town for the majority of the story, seem unnecessary. I felt that Alyssa was just there for as an introduction for a future story. Her probable love interest popped up at the end of the story with a “tidy” explanation for his absence as well. I found myself wondering what the story of he and Alyssa will be like. The historical accounts of Abiola and the other women who originally settled on the island are the best part of this story for me.
PERFECT FOR YOU
Sylvia Lett
Dafina- Contemporary Romance
ISBN: 0-7582-1979-2
Published: April 2007
Fictional Romance
Rating: 4 Stars – Excellent
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Samantha Taylor and Alex Carlisle have been leading comfortable but safe lives since the deaths of their spouses. Sam was widowed when her husband and sister where killed in a head-on collision with a drunk driver. The shock of losing them at the same time sent her into premature labor, which gives Sam her only reason to live. Sam is a stay at home mom who takes care of her two children as well as Alex’s. They eat dinner as a family several times a week and generally spend the majority of their free time together. Sam is grateful for the emotional support that Alex has given her, but Alex is looking for more. The good doctor comes up with a plan to get Sam to marry him, but he risks losing her by keeping a secret that could change their lives.
PERFECT FOR YOU is a moderately paced, well written, and interesting story; it’s a love story with a whodunit twist. I enjoyed the closeness of the two single parent families and the way the main characters supported each other in raising their children. The plot twists grab your attention, and the supporting characters make sure that you don’t forget that there is a time bomb waiting to disrupt everyone’s lives. I feel that the children were a little too good to be true, and there were times when Sam and Alex acted like children. But, this is still a story that people will be able to relate to.
Ms. Lett has done a great job exploring the lives of two people who have suffered such great losses at the hands of a stranger, only to discover years later that someone who claims to love them has done the unthinkable.
Love vs. Pain and Secrets
Tiffany Collins
RoseDog Books
Published: April 2007
0805999841
Rating: 2.5 Stars -GOOD
Review By: Tamika Johnson
Love vs. Pain and Secrets is a poetry collection about personal issues author Tiffany Collins has worked through. Tiffany is to be commended on being very open and honest in this collection as many of the poems are very revealing such as "I Still Love You" where the author writes about a woman who is married but still in love with another, and "Our Baby is Not Your Child," which speaks of the inner turmoil a woman goes through
knowing that the child she has does not belong to the man she is with.
Though the poetry deals mostly with pain and secrets than it does the redemptive power of love as the title suggests, it is a collection that with deals with many life issues that anyone can relate to.
CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT
Rhonda Jackson Joseph
Tea and a Tome Publishing
097943050X
Contemporary Romance
Published: March 2007
Rating: 2 stars - OK
Reviewer: Patricia Woodside
CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT is an admirable debut romance novel from Rhonda Jackson Joseph. Cishawn “Shawn” Simpson and Tonzell “TJ” Jones have dating history back to a failed blind date when they were in college. Now both budding entrepreneurs, they reunite at the wedding of mutual friends. When Shawn takes ill and collapses following the ceremony, TJ comes to her rescue. As he nurses her back to health, the two explore whether a romance is in their future.
Shawn doesn’t trust herself to seek happiness in a committed relationship, afraid she’ll have to choose between her career goals and a family. TJ likes to rescue people, especially women, even ones he knows are not in his best interest. Can Shawn concede some of her independence and TJ give up his need to be in charge so that a long-term relationship might have a chance?
Ms. Joseph’s characters are interesting. Shawn’s got fire in her belly. She wants to make something of herself beyond simply working at her job and she wants to do it on her terms. TJ is ready to stop rescuing folks, and he’s willing to put up with a lot, but he has his limits and Shawn puts them to the test. However, the story seems to rest largely on the need for these characters to get out of their own way. I believe CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT has the bones of a good contemporary romance. However, with little external conflict to help keep the plot moving, the characters seem to go over the same ground again and again, stopping only for sexual interludes. Also, the story is written in first person point of view, which can be difficult for many writers. In this case, that viewpoint contributes to the passive storytelling. Replacing some of the introspection with a bit more dialogue, in addition to more conflict, would give the story more flesh on those bones. I look forward to Ms. Joseph’s next work.
A Hire Love
Candice Dow
Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0-7582-1938-5
Publish Date: February 2007
Fiction
Rating: 4 Stars – Excellent
Reviewed by: Delores Hines
Fatima Mayo a widow of three years decides to get back into the dating game. She goes on a few dates and realizes it’s really rough out there. Her husband was just about perfect and had spoiled her rotten. Fatima’s best friend is a casting director and Fatima talks her into finding her the perfect man.
Rashad Watkins is chosen for the role of perfect man to Fatima. Rashad feels an instant attraction to Fatima from pictures alone. He’s a struggling actor waiting for his big break at his Mama’s house.
The couple hit it off but the relationship was one sided. Fatima only received but never truly gave of herself. Rashad wasn’t sure if she loved him for himself or the role he played. The rubber meets the road when Rashad’s big break comes and he has to leave New York. Will Fatima follow him?
It took me a minute to take the plot seriously but once I did, the story was very enjoyable. I would love to see a sequel to this story; Fatima still has a lot of issues she needs to work through.
Risk
Ann Christopher
Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0-7582-1434-0
Publish Date: February 2007
Romance
Rating: 4 Stars – Excellent
Reviewed by: Delores Hines
Risk is about a couple who share an instant attraction. Angela and Justus share a dance at a wedding where his brother marries her sister. Angela is 7 years older than the 17 year old Justus. She feels the attraction but doesn’t take it seriously because of the age difference.
Fast forward 10 years, the couple come face to face with their attraction while fighting for custody of the niece their perspective siblings left behind when they were killed in a car crash. Justus is a playa who owns a gym and Angela is an uptight lawyer who works too much. Justus works hard to have Angela take him seriously, while Angela works hard not to succumb to the attraction.
This book has renewed my faith in romance novels. The book was engaging, captivating and exciting. The author took the time to have the characters work through their flaws individually as well as a couple. The story was realistic, risky and cutting edge drama. There weren’t any perfect solutions which only made the story more probable. Two thumbs up to Ms. Christopher on her sophomore book.
FOREVER AND A DAY
Dyanne Davis
Parker Publishing, LLC
ISBN: 978-1-60043-004-6
Published: February 2007
Fictional Romance
Rating: 2 ½ Stars - GOOD
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Torrie and Jake are childhood friends from different sides of the track. A misunderstanding from when they were teens has driven a wedge between them that neither is sure how to overcome. When Hurricane Katrina brings Torrie’s dreams to fruition, Jake risks his life driving to New Orleans, as the storm moves in, to save her. But Torrie and Jake’s reunion is bittersweet; Torrie can’t move forward until she knows that her family is safe, but they are still trying to keep her and Jake apart. Her family wants to protect her, but they should simply mind their own business.
FOREVER AND A DAY is a journey through the devastation and the hopelessness that so many families felt after one of the worst natural disasters of our time. However, Ms. Davis has managed to show the spirit of survival, the renewal of relationships, and the uncompromising love that no hurricane, or breeched levee, can kill.
Now, with that said, I became bored with Torrie. She has a successful business and her own home, but she is uncharacteristically immature. She allows her family to interfere and control her life and she expects more of Jake than she herself is willing to give. Her family’s overly dramatic reaction to her relationship with Jake is irritating. I realize part of their problem with Jake is New Orleans’ underlying “class” system, and the corruption between the wealthy families and the politicians. However, Jake left town over a decade before the storm to build a life without his family’s influence, but Torrie’s family continued to blame him for the sins of his father and his one mistake with Torrie. Her sister Kimmie and cousin Trey couldn’t let go of the past and allow Torrie to make her own decisions where Jake was concerned.
The pacing flows well until the main characters are reunited. Once the storms end and the family settles down everything slows to a crawl. I didn’t like Kimmie and Trey, even after the reason for their reaction is explained. I would have preferred more background on both sets of parents and their respective relationships.
Forever and a Day gives readers some incite into the lives of the Katrina survivors and what it will take for them to completely recover from this disaster. It’s a good book, but I didn’t care for the behavior exhibited by certain characters.
Friday, June 22, 2007
MAY 07 REVIEWS
The First Lady
Carl Webber
Dafina Books
Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0-7582-1575-4
Published: January 2007
Mainstream Fiction
Rating: 4 ½ Stars - EXCEPTIONAL
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Charlene Wilson decides upon her deathbed, to choose several women from the church her husband pastor’s as candidates to take her place as First Lady. She, along with the church secretary, pens several letters to be given to each person at certain intervals beginning six months after her death.
Bishop T. K. Wilson, is surprised to receive a letter from his deceased wife six months after her death telling him that it is time for him to remarry, and to his chagrin, the members of the church agree.
The delivery of the first letters sets off a chain reaction of events that no one could have imagined. The members of First Jamaica Ministries have their minds made up as to which of the women should be first lady. However, the pastor is not ready to let go of his deceased wife and start a new relationship. So, he allows the members and his best-friend to determine who he should date instead of following his heart. When he discovers that his deceased wife in manipulating lives from the grave, he is angry and hurt. However, he realizes that the time has come for him to make a decision about his life, as well as, what’s best for his church.
Mr. Webber managed to juggle the stories of five different characters with a legion of extras, and come up with a serious, funny and romantic story. He allows you to become a part of the characters lives and experience their fears, pain and joy. However, there was couple of times when I felt it was time to move on with a couple of the characters, but I read this one in a day. It is an enjoyable read.
Ladies Night Out
Electra Rome Parks
New American Library
ISBN: 9780451220257
January 2007
Erotica/Romance
Rating: 4 Stars EXCELLENT
Reviewed by: Michelle Alexander
Lexie, Meshell, Tonya and Tracee ask each other, "What is the freakiest thing you have ever done?" and their answers take the reader into the deepest secrets of their lives. Lexie the least experienced, looks online for her first major encounter and finds what
she least expected. Meshell the least inhibited finds herself at a swingers party and finds that it’s a slippery slope to sex addiction. Tonya the exhibitionist learns that everyone doesn't always just want to look and narrowly escapes and Tracee the golddigger ends up in an affair with a married man who just happens to be her boss. Ultimately they all have
a showdown with each other.
Set in Atlanta, Ladies Night Out is well written with spicy details, this book will stay on your shelf to read again and again. Everyone will find someone in this book to identify with and also understand the love that friends have in order to save each other.
Big Girls Don’t Die
Crystal Jordan
Cobblestone Press
Publication 2006
ISBN: 978-1-60088-104-6
Paranormal/Erotic/Multicultural Romance
Rating: 2 ½ stars - GOOD
Reviewed by: Tonni
Cynthiana Trent is a plus sized model turned clothing designer, who was turned into a Vampire by a Frenchman name Andre St. James who owns a hotel in Las Vegas.
The story takes place on Valentines Day. Cynthiana gets a surprise visit from Andre who she hasn’t seen for a month. And she is not happy to see him. A misphrased greeting leads to them having hot passionate sex. It’s not ‘til its all over she realized she is still mad at him for turning her into the “undead”. So she spends the rest of Valentine’s Day with her friend Candy a werewolf but it gets cut short because of a family emergency.
In the past, Cynthiana has been denying her feelings for Andre. Will she be able to resist his charm and allure? Or will she give into her longing and feelings for Andre.
This book was a short read for me. Crystal’s description of the sex scenes between Andre and Cynthiana was outstanding because you can form a picture of the two having hot passionate sex. I had to grab my hand fan and a cold cup water to cool off.
I would recommend this book to anyone who likes reading about hot sex.
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder?
Kevin M. Weeks
Publisher: Xlibris Books
Publication Date: December 2006
ISBN: 1-4257-1104-9
Genre: Urban Lit/Street Fiction
Rating: 2 ½ -GOOD
Reviewed by: Danni Jackson
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder? Follows the life of car thief and West Philadelphia native Teco Jackson. Teco is handsome and smooth when it comes to the ladies. A dangerous, high speed car chase convinced him that his life had to change but after trying the religious path, he realized that crime was in his blood. So he returns to a life of petty thievery and car thefts. Sleeping at different women houses and having just enough to get by has become his lifestyle for as long as he can remember. But a chance encounter with Mujaheed Bashi Firen of the Strictly Business Crew (SB) presents him with the opportunity to step his game up and prove he’s more than just a small time thug.
Even though Teco isn’t into the drug game he takes Bashi up on his offer and quickly becomes entrenched in the drug dealing world. Teco is a good earner and earns the nickname of “Homicide”. As a result, Bashi promotes him to his right hand man. Homicide is seen as fearless along with the fact he doesn’t back down from anyone, garners him the respect of the all the members of SB Crew but one – Gail Indigo Que aka GQ who is the only female in SB. GQ is understandably upset because she was the enforcer/right hand before Homicide took her position. There is a major power struggle between Homicide and GQ amidst dissention with the SB Crew as Homicide is promoted. Homicide is busy enjoying his life filled with money, cars and women. But a major takedown cuts his lifestyle short for a stint. And after getting out of jail, Homicide learns that Bashi has disappeared and makes it his mission to find out what’s going on. The tension between GQ and Homicide escalates and when the dust clears and the duo appear to have called a truce, Bashi turns up dead. And all the evidence and clues point to Homicide. Homicide goes after the truth and the question will be is the killer – an enemy or a friend? And will GQ help or hinder Homicide’s quest for the truth?
One problem is that the book has several minor and insignificant characters that bog down the plot and stop the story from flowing as easily and effortless as it could. Also, there is some irrelevant information that does little more than pad the book. A good final editing would eliminate some of these errors as well as help focus the plot, provide deeper characterizations plus smooth and tighten the dialogue.
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder is fast-paced, full of drama and captivating. The writing is sharp and the storyline will hold reader’s attentions. Teco aka Homicide is a likeable character despite his lifestyle.
If Love Is Good to Me
Francine Craft
Kimani Press
ISBN: 1-58314-783-7
Publish Date: October 2006
Romance
Rating: 2 Stars – OK
Reviewed by: Delores Hines
Dosha Steele meets millionaire Christian Montero on a trip to Spain to heal a broken heart. Both are trying to recover from relationships gone bad. The book picks up with the couple already engaged and planning their wedding. If you're a fan of Ms. Crafts Steele family this book continues the saga.
As the couple is planning their wedding they go through all types of drama, some of it unbelievable in today’s times. Christian is very moody and can't seem to get over the things his ex-wife did before she died. Dosha is more patient than any woman I ever read about. Who would be able to handle their fiancée constantly lamenting their past relationship????
I was disappointed with this book and I am a fan of Francine Craft. The book had no real point of reference, one minute the couple is stuck in the past, the next minute someone's threatening Dosha, the next they're living in fear of things learned from a Tarot card reading. It felt like being in a screeching car, it kept starting and stopping. The cover had a great looking couple on the front.
Every Thug Needs A Lady
Wahida Clark
Publisher: Dafina Books/Kensington
Publication Date: October 2006
ISBN: 0-7582-1288-7
Genre: Urban Lit/Street Fiction
Rating: 2 Stars -OK
Reviewed by: Danni Jackson
Every Thug Needs a Lady follows the lives of four friends – Jaz, Kyra, Angel and Roz – and their quest to turn their lives around despite being from the hood.
All four ladies are graduating college and on the verge of a new life. Roz is going to be a physical and respiratory therapist, Angel to be a corporate lawyer, Kyra plans are graduation, grad school and then becoming a doctor of psychology and Jaz is about to graduate and go to medical school.
Every Thug Needs a Lady revolves around the dramas that unfold in their lives along with their thug boyfriends. Roz who is also known as Tasha is infatuated with Trae who also happens to be a good friend of her former boyfriend of five years who is incarcerated. Trae wants Roz but she doesn’t want to date another thug. Also Angel who is about to embark on her career post law school, is intrigued by Trae’s best friend Kaylin but she doesn’t want to give in to the feelings and plays hard to get.
Every Thug Needs a Lady is raw and richly detailed. It contains all the elements that are popular with the urban/street lit genre. So the common elements of thugs, money, drugs, bling, drug dealers, prison, designer clothes and sex is rampant throughout the book.
The character are trying to grow up but don’t seem to be succeeding. The actions and their words do not match. The girls say they want one thing but don’t appear to have the focus or determination or know how to achieve their goals. It’s apparent these women are lacking in some very common life skills in order to move past their current life status and truly leave the ghetto/inner city behind.
Every Thug Needs a Lady also suffers from a bevy of editing issues including many typographical and grammatical errors.
I found this book to be somewhat contradictory in the character goals and motivations but it did make you think – every character is well educated but on the flip side has a thug/playa persona. And it appears that the thuggish side wins out for a while. The question that came to my mind is - How strong is the pull of the street/criminal lifestyle? Is the lure of the street life and being a hustler so powerful and why?
I would definitely recommend that readers read the first book before this one, though it is not required, it may help in understanding parts of it.
Every Thug Needs a Lady took a while for me to get into. The usual fast pace of street fiction books’ was missing from the first third of this book. It took to long for me to become engaged in the book and with the characters. It was, in my opinion, unsurprising in the plot and the perfect “hood” fairytale.
The first book was better because the characters were more diversely drawn and easier to differentiate. It seems that all the ladies end up in the exact same or very similar situations in their lives and haven’t learned anything from witnessing the drama that their “friends” go through. So in essence, it becomes the same or a very similar story which is tedious and predictable. The characters lack a clear growth and in some parts are not very developed.
The ending and subsequent epilogue was confusing but everything wrapped up and everyone’s lives turned around so there is the Happily Ever After. There was enough left unfinished as a teaser to tempt readers to purchase the third book in this series to see what else happens in the lives of these friends.
Your First Novel
By Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb
Writer's Digest
ISBN: 9781582973883, 2007
Nonfiction/How-To (Writing)
Published: September 2006
Guest Reviewer: Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Publisher's Site: www.writersdigestbooks.com
Pay No Attention to the Title
Your First Novel Is for All Novelists, from Would-Be to Seasoned
When I teach my writing students, I urge them to keep reading, keep writing, keep taking classes. Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb, the agent and author combination who have cobbled together a definitive first book of reading for novelists, urge writers to do the same thing. Having said that, this may very well be the place for a would-be novelist to start.
It's also a great place for a seasoned writer to refresh, pick up a few new hints, get inspired and get some understanding—some real understanding—of what it is agents do.
The reason this book is so important is that both authors come from a place of experience and both have researched their lesson plans. Not only that, Dennis Lehane's foreword will inspire any writer—any writer!—to dig into their craft and the business of publishing by reading farther.
Whitcomb doesn't just give good advice; she illustrates her points liberally with quotations from the classics and newer writers who have perfected their craft. The visuals she provides for, say, "Accents and Dialect" are as clear as if they had been diagrammed for you by the sternest of English-teaching nuns. Only Whitcomb isn't at all stern. Rather her voice (another subject she discusses) will convince writers of her warmth, that she cares about writing, both her own and that of others.
Rittenberg is equally engaging. The most jaded of novelists will come away from her section of the book (publishing, queries, marketing and more!) with a sense that to know an agent may—after all—be to love one.
This book is one that should be grabbed, read, and kept reference-handy by writers at most any stage in their careers. Okay, I'll exempt Stephen King and Barbara Kingsolver, but you get the idea.
Two Loves, One Heart
Carrie J. Keaton
Author House
ISBN: 1-4259-3017-4 (sc)
Published: June 2006
Mainstream Fiction
Rating: 1 Star – Poor
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Lynette Thomas gives up the opportunity to finish her college education in order to marry her high school sweetheart and move with him to South Carolina. Her fairytale life soon becomes a nightmare when her loving husband becomes emotionally detached and abusive.
Steven Montgomery is a successful attorney and the former class nerd, in his and Lynette’s high school. Steven becomes Lynette’s night in shining armor when he rescues her from a hopeless situation.
Two Loves, One Heart is a story about a woman who is given a second chance to live and love after surviving an abusive marriage. I found the characters boring, the plot predictable and story poorly written.
I had a hard time reading this book. It was full of typographical and grammatical errors, and there were parts that were completely out of sequence. In one chapter she’s seven months pregnant, and in the next she’s three or four. I was really ready to give up when I read about a child in one chapter that had yet to be conceived let alone born until several chapters later.
Ms. Keaton, I applaud the effort you put into writing your story and getting it printed, but your proof-reader and editor did not serve you well.
Carl Webber
Dafina Books
Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0-7582-1575-4
Published: January 2007
Mainstream Fiction
Rating: 4 ½ Stars - EXCEPTIONAL
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Charlene Wilson decides upon her deathbed, to choose several women from the church her husband pastor’s as candidates to take her place as First Lady. She, along with the church secretary, pens several letters to be given to each person at certain intervals beginning six months after her death.
Bishop T. K. Wilson, is surprised to receive a letter from his deceased wife six months after her death telling him that it is time for him to remarry, and to his chagrin, the members of the church agree.
The delivery of the first letters sets off a chain reaction of events that no one could have imagined. The members of First Jamaica Ministries have their minds made up as to which of the women should be first lady. However, the pastor is not ready to let go of his deceased wife and start a new relationship. So, he allows the members and his best-friend to determine who he should date instead of following his heart. When he discovers that his deceased wife in manipulating lives from the grave, he is angry and hurt. However, he realizes that the time has come for him to make a decision about his life, as well as, what’s best for his church.
Mr. Webber managed to juggle the stories of five different characters with a legion of extras, and come up with a serious, funny and romantic story. He allows you to become a part of the characters lives and experience their fears, pain and joy. However, there was couple of times when I felt it was time to move on with a couple of the characters, but I read this one in a day. It is an enjoyable read.
Ladies Night Out
Electra Rome Parks
New American Library
ISBN: 9780451220257
January 2007
Erotica/Romance
Rating: 4 Stars EXCELLENT
Reviewed by: Michelle Alexander
Lexie, Meshell, Tonya and Tracee ask each other, "What is the freakiest thing you have ever done?" and their answers take the reader into the deepest secrets of their lives. Lexie the least experienced, looks online for her first major encounter and finds what
she least expected. Meshell the least inhibited finds herself at a swingers party and finds that it’s a slippery slope to sex addiction. Tonya the exhibitionist learns that everyone doesn't always just want to look and narrowly escapes and Tracee the golddigger ends up in an affair with a married man who just happens to be her boss. Ultimately they all have
a showdown with each other.
Set in Atlanta, Ladies Night Out is well written with spicy details, this book will stay on your shelf to read again and again. Everyone will find someone in this book to identify with and also understand the love that friends have in order to save each other.
Big Girls Don’t Die
Crystal Jordan
Cobblestone Press
Publication 2006
ISBN: 978-1-60088-104-6
Paranormal/Erotic/Multicultural Romance
Rating: 2 ½ stars - GOOD
Reviewed by: Tonni
Cynthiana Trent is a plus sized model turned clothing designer, who was turned into a Vampire by a Frenchman name Andre St. James who owns a hotel in Las Vegas.
The story takes place on Valentines Day. Cynthiana gets a surprise visit from Andre who she hasn’t seen for a month. And she is not happy to see him. A misphrased greeting leads to them having hot passionate sex. It’s not ‘til its all over she realized she is still mad at him for turning her into the “undead”. So she spends the rest of Valentine’s Day with her friend Candy a werewolf but it gets cut short because of a family emergency.
In the past, Cynthiana has been denying her feelings for Andre. Will she be able to resist his charm and allure? Or will she give into her longing and feelings for Andre.
This book was a short read for me. Crystal’s description of the sex scenes between Andre and Cynthiana was outstanding because you can form a picture of the two having hot passionate sex. I had to grab my hand fan and a cold cup water to cool off.
I would recommend this book to anyone who likes reading about hot sex.
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder?
Kevin M. Weeks
Publisher: Xlibris Books
Publication Date: December 2006
ISBN: 1-4257-1104-9
Genre: Urban Lit/Street Fiction
Rating: 2 ½ -GOOD
Reviewed by: Danni Jackson
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder? Follows the life of car thief and West Philadelphia native Teco Jackson. Teco is handsome and smooth when it comes to the ladies. A dangerous, high speed car chase convinced him that his life had to change but after trying the religious path, he realized that crime was in his blood. So he returns to a life of petty thievery and car thefts. Sleeping at different women houses and having just enough to get by has become his lifestyle for as long as he can remember. But a chance encounter with Mujaheed Bashi Firen of the Strictly Business Crew (SB) presents him with the opportunity to step his game up and prove he’s more than just a small time thug.
Even though Teco isn’t into the drug game he takes Bashi up on his offer and quickly becomes entrenched in the drug dealing world. Teco is a good earner and earns the nickname of “Homicide”. As a result, Bashi promotes him to his right hand man. Homicide is seen as fearless along with the fact he doesn’t back down from anyone, garners him the respect of the all the members of SB Crew but one – Gail Indigo Que aka GQ who is the only female in SB. GQ is understandably upset because she was the enforcer/right hand before Homicide took her position. There is a major power struggle between Homicide and GQ amidst dissention with the SB Crew as Homicide is promoted. Homicide is busy enjoying his life filled with money, cars and women. But a major takedown cuts his lifestyle short for a stint. And after getting out of jail, Homicide learns that Bashi has disappeared and makes it his mission to find out what’s going on. The tension between GQ and Homicide escalates and when the dust clears and the duo appear to have called a truce, Bashi turns up dead. And all the evidence and clues point to Homicide. Homicide goes after the truth and the question will be is the killer – an enemy or a friend? And will GQ help or hinder Homicide’s quest for the truth?
One problem is that the book has several minor and insignificant characters that bog down the plot and stop the story from flowing as easily and effortless as it could. Also, there is some irrelevant information that does little more than pad the book. A good final editing would eliminate some of these errors as well as help focus the plot, provide deeper characterizations plus smooth and tighten the dialogue.
The Street Life Series – Is It Suicide or Murder is fast-paced, full of drama and captivating. The writing is sharp and the storyline will hold reader’s attentions. Teco aka Homicide is a likeable character despite his lifestyle.
If Love Is Good to Me
Francine Craft
Kimani Press
ISBN: 1-58314-783-7
Publish Date: October 2006
Romance
Rating: 2 Stars – OK
Reviewed by: Delores Hines
Dosha Steele meets millionaire Christian Montero on a trip to Spain to heal a broken heart. Both are trying to recover from relationships gone bad. The book picks up with the couple already engaged and planning their wedding. If you're a fan of Ms. Crafts Steele family this book continues the saga.
As the couple is planning their wedding they go through all types of drama, some of it unbelievable in today’s times. Christian is very moody and can't seem to get over the things his ex-wife did before she died. Dosha is more patient than any woman I ever read about. Who would be able to handle their fiancée constantly lamenting their past relationship????
I was disappointed with this book and I am a fan of Francine Craft. The book had no real point of reference, one minute the couple is stuck in the past, the next minute someone's threatening Dosha, the next they're living in fear of things learned from a Tarot card reading. It felt like being in a screeching car, it kept starting and stopping. The cover had a great looking couple on the front.
Every Thug Needs A Lady
Wahida Clark
Publisher: Dafina Books/Kensington
Publication Date: October 2006
ISBN: 0-7582-1288-7
Genre: Urban Lit/Street Fiction
Rating: 2 Stars -OK
Reviewed by: Danni Jackson
Every Thug Needs a Lady follows the lives of four friends – Jaz, Kyra, Angel and Roz – and their quest to turn their lives around despite being from the hood.
All four ladies are graduating college and on the verge of a new life. Roz is going to be a physical and respiratory therapist, Angel to be a corporate lawyer, Kyra plans are graduation, grad school and then becoming a doctor of psychology and Jaz is about to graduate and go to medical school.
Every Thug Needs a Lady revolves around the dramas that unfold in their lives along with their thug boyfriends. Roz who is also known as Tasha is infatuated with Trae who also happens to be a good friend of her former boyfriend of five years who is incarcerated. Trae wants Roz but she doesn’t want to date another thug. Also Angel who is about to embark on her career post law school, is intrigued by Trae’s best friend Kaylin but she doesn’t want to give in to the feelings and plays hard to get.
Every Thug Needs a Lady is raw and richly detailed. It contains all the elements that are popular with the urban/street lit genre. So the common elements of thugs, money, drugs, bling, drug dealers, prison, designer clothes and sex is rampant throughout the book.
The character are trying to grow up but don’t seem to be succeeding. The actions and their words do not match. The girls say they want one thing but don’t appear to have the focus or determination or know how to achieve their goals. It’s apparent these women are lacking in some very common life skills in order to move past their current life status and truly leave the ghetto/inner city behind.
Every Thug Needs a Lady also suffers from a bevy of editing issues including many typographical and grammatical errors.
I found this book to be somewhat contradictory in the character goals and motivations but it did make you think – every character is well educated but on the flip side has a thug/playa persona. And it appears that the thuggish side wins out for a while. The question that came to my mind is - How strong is the pull of the street/criminal lifestyle? Is the lure of the street life and being a hustler so powerful and why?
I would definitely recommend that readers read the first book before this one, though it is not required, it may help in understanding parts of it.
Every Thug Needs a Lady took a while for me to get into. The usual fast pace of street fiction books’ was missing from the first third of this book. It took to long for me to become engaged in the book and with the characters. It was, in my opinion, unsurprising in the plot and the perfect “hood” fairytale.
The first book was better because the characters were more diversely drawn and easier to differentiate. It seems that all the ladies end up in the exact same or very similar situations in their lives and haven’t learned anything from witnessing the drama that their “friends” go through. So in essence, it becomes the same or a very similar story which is tedious and predictable. The characters lack a clear growth and in some parts are not very developed.
The ending and subsequent epilogue was confusing but everything wrapped up and everyone’s lives turned around so there is the Happily Ever After. There was enough left unfinished as a teaser to tempt readers to purchase the third book in this series to see what else happens in the lives of these friends.
Your First Novel
By Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb
Writer's Digest
ISBN: 9781582973883, 2007
Nonfiction/How-To (Writing)
Published: September 2006
Guest Reviewer: Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Publisher's Site: www.writersdigestbooks.com
Pay No Attention to the Title
Your First Novel Is for All Novelists, from Would-Be to Seasoned
When I teach my writing students, I urge them to keep reading, keep writing, keep taking classes. Ann Rittenberg and Laura Whitcomb, the agent and author combination who have cobbled together a definitive first book of reading for novelists, urge writers to do the same thing. Having said that, this may very well be the place for a would-be novelist to start.
It's also a great place for a seasoned writer to refresh, pick up a few new hints, get inspired and get some understanding—some real understanding—of what it is agents do.
The reason this book is so important is that both authors come from a place of experience and both have researched their lesson plans. Not only that, Dennis Lehane's foreword will inspire any writer—any writer!—to dig into their craft and the business of publishing by reading farther.
Whitcomb doesn't just give good advice; she illustrates her points liberally with quotations from the classics and newer writers who have perfected their craft. The visuals she provides for, say, "Accents and Dialect" are as clear as if they had been diagrammed for you by the sternest of English-teaching nuns. Only Whitcomb isn't at all stern. Rather her voice (another subject she discusses) will convince writers of her warmth, that she cares about writing, both her own and that of others.
Rittenberg is equally engaging. The most jaded of novelists will come away from her section of the book (publishing, queries, marketing and more!) with a sense that to know an agent may—after all—be to love one.
This book is one that should be grabbed, read, and kept reference-handy by writers at most any stage in their careers. Okay, I'll exempt Stephen King and Barbara Kingsolver, but you get the idea.
Two Loves, One Heart
Carrie J. Keaton
Author House
ISBN: 1-4259-3017-4 (sc)
Published: June 2006
Mainstream Fiction
Rating: 1 Star – Poor
Reviewed by: Marguerite Lemons
Lynette Thomas gives up the opportunity to finish her college education in order to marry her high school sweetheart and move with him to South Carolina. Her fairytale life soon becomes a nightmare when her loving husband becomes emotionally detached and abusive.
Steven Montgomery is a successful attorney and the former class nerd, in his and Lynette’s high school. Steven becomes Lynette’s night in shining armor when he rescues her from a hopeless situation.
Two Loves, One Heart is a story about a woman who is given a second chance to live and love after surviving an abusive marriage. I found the characters boring, the plot predictable and story poorly written.
I had a hard time reading this book. It was full of typographical and grammatical errors, and there were parts that were completely out of sequence. In one chapter she’s seven months pregnant, and in the next she’s three or four. I was really ready to give up when I read about a child in one chapter that had yet to be conceived let alone born until several chapters later.
Ms. Keaton, I applaud the effort you put into writing your story and getting it printed, but your proof-reader and editor did not serve you well.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
ARE YOU READING THIS: Waking the Muse
Waking the Muse
A Collection of Poems
by Melanie Simms
A Collection of Poems
by Melanie Simms
Melanie Simms is an internationally published poet who employs the written language much like an artist wields a brush. As former Poet Laureate of Perry County, Pennsylvania and the Founder and President of the Association of Pennsylvania Poets Laureate, her talent is clearly heralded by many and matched only by the spirit of the muse, lighting a beacon for the soul, much the way a light house provides light for lost ships. Waking the Muse is the first in a series of recent poetic pursuits, with new works progressing quickly on the follow-up.
Melanie Simms' poems transcend international boundaries; as her poetry regularly sees publication in countries such as Wales, Canada, England and Australia.
You will enjoy her poems best with your heart open, allowing her muses to take you on a journey of wonder that you will not soon forget.
Outskirts Press
ISBN-10: 1598006533
Monday, June 18, 2007
JUN07 FEATURED AUTHOR: AlTonya Washington
SORMAG: Please give the readers a brief bio on you the person and the writer.
AlTonya Washington: AlTonya released her first novel with BET/Arabesque in 2003. Since then, she's released titles in the contemporary and historical romance genres. The award-winning author celebrated the release of her 9th novel "A Lover's Mask" with Harlequin/Kimani. This SC native now resides in NC where she works as a Senior Assistant for a college library. She's a huge movie buff who loves to cook (and eat!!) and read. She will release her 10th novel "Pride and Consequence" in November this year.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
WASHINGTON: "A Lover's Mask" is Book 3 in the Ramsey Series. In this installment, we get to know Fernando Ramsey and Contessa Warren. Fernando is the middle son of Marc and Josephine Ramsey. Those who've read the first 2 books ("A Lover's Dream" and "A Lover's Pretense") know that Marc is the resident "bad guy" of the family. Fernando is something of a black sheep as well having spent time in both a juvenile facility and correctional institute during his younger wilder days. Contessa, the Chicago publisher introduced in Book 1, is intrigued by the gorgeous bad boy and ignores every order she gives herself to stay away. Her publishing house is in the process of producing the long-awaited Ramsey biography and Contessa is on the brink of uncovering yet another scandal involving the powerful clan. While bringing down Marc Ramsey is a definite possibility, will she also bring down Fernando- the man she's falling in love with?
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
WASHINGTON: For this series I like for readers to take away a sense of satisfaction from every Ramsey novel they read. I want them to take with them the fact that they've become inter-woven with the characters and their dramas. I'd also like for them to leave with their curiosity peaked-what will happen next? And how will it happen?
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
WASHINGTON: My relatives always tease me about writing a book on our family. An intriguing idea-but I'd rather focus on the dramas I could conjure in a fictional family. I was captivated by the relationship between the twins in Karen Moning's Highlander novels and then the idea came to me for Quest and Quaysar (the twins from Books 1 and 2 of the Ramseys) From there, I got the idea for a family filled with beautiful men and deadly secrets-the Ramsey series was born.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
WASHINGTON: I have a VERY hard time letting go. These people are so real to me it's scary. This is what I've enjoyed about writing the series-I have the chance to revisit them-find out what's going on in their lives. In the Ramsey series past characters play large roles in the progression of the storyline.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
WASHINGTON: That strong characters actually drive the story-the author thinks he or she is in control, but it's the characters that push the plot, the actions and the twists. It's difficult to describe and something I never believed when other authors spoke of it, but it is very true.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
WASHINGTON: That it's not as easy as it seems. So much goes into creating a story that's not only interesting and sexy for the readers, but for the writer as well. These intriguing characters don't come to mind over night (not always). Developing them, the way they talk, look, think...these must be people you want to think about every day and night. Readers only see the finished product-I did before I actually became a writer. It's incredible and beautiful-how involved the entire process is.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
WASHINGTON: I've started reading the "In Death" series by Nora Roberts writing as JD Robb. Currently, I'm on Book 12 "Betrayal In Death".
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
WASHINGTON: Watching movies, taking bubbles baths, reading...
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
WASHINGTON: My email address is: altonyawashington@yahoo.com and they can visit my website at www.lovealtonya.com
AlTonya Washington: AlTonya released her first novel with BET/Arabesque in 2003. Since then, she's released titles in the contemporary and historical romance genres. The award-winning author celebrated the release of her 9th novel "A Lover's Mask" with Harlequin/Kimani. This SC native now resides in NC where she works as a Senior Assistant for a college library. She's a huge movie buff who loves to cook (and eat!!) and read. She will release her 10th novel "Pride and Consequence" in November this year.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
WASHINGTON: "A Lover's Mask" is Book 3 in the Ramsey Series. In this installment, we get to know Fernando Ramsey and Contessa Warren. Fernando is the middle son of Marc and Josephine Ramsey. Those who've read the first 2 books ("A Lover's Dream" and "A Lover's Pretense") know that Marc is the resident "bad guy" of the family. Fernando is something of a black sheep as well having spent time in both a juvenile facility and correctional institute during his younger wilder days. Contessa, the Chicago publisher introduced in Book 1, is intrigued by the gorgeous bad boy and ignores every order she gives herself to stay away. Her publishing house is in the process of producing the long-awaited Ramsey biography and Contessa is on the brink of uncovering yet another scandal involving the powerful clan. While bringing down Marc Ramsey is a definite possibility, will she also bring down Fernando- the man she's falling in love with?
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
WASHINGTON: For this series I like for readers to take away a sense of satisfaction from every Ramsey novel they read. I want them to take with them the fact that they've become inter-woven with the characters and their dramas. I'd also like for them to leave with their curiosity peaked-what will happen next? And how will it happen?
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
WASHINGTON: My relatives always tease me about writing a book on our family. An intriguing idea-but I'd rather focus on the dramas I could conjure in a fictional family. I was captivated by the relationship between the twins in Karen Moning's Highlander novels and then the idea came to me for Quest and Quaysar (the twins from Books 1 and 2 of the Ramseys) From there, I got the idea for a family filled with beautiful men and deadly secrets-the Ramsey series was born.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
WASHINGTON: I have a VERY hard time letting go. These people are so real to me it's scary. This is what I've enjoyed about writing the series-I have the chance to revisit them-find out what's going on in their lives. In the Ramsey series past characters play large roles in the progression of the storyline.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
WASHINGTON: That strong characters actually drive the story-the author thinks he or she is in control, but it's the characters that push the plot, the actions and the twists. It's difficult to describe and something I never believed when other authors spoke of it, but it is very true.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
WASHINGTON: That it's not as easy as it seems. So much goes into creating a story that's not only interesting and sexy for the readers, but for the writer as well. These intriguing characters don't come to mind over night (not always). Developing them, the way they talk, look, think...these must be people you want to think about every day and night. Readers only see the finished product-I did before I actually became a writer. It's incredible and beautiful-how involved the entire process is.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
WASHINGTON: I've started reading the "In Death" series by Nora Roberts writing as JD Robb. Currently, I'm on Book 12 "Betrayal In Death".
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
WASHINGTON: Watching movies, taking bubbles baths, reading...
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
WASHINGTON: My email address is: altonyawashington@yahoo.com and they can visit my website at www.lovealtonya.com
JUN07 EXCERPT: A Lover's Mask
A Lover's Mask
By AlTonya Washington
By AlTonya Washington
Pulling his hands from his pockets, Fernando braced them on either side of her. “You really believe you’ll never sleep with me again?”
County felt her heart flutter and ordered her lashes not to do the same. “I really believe that,” she said, scanning his eyes, the slop of his nose, wide mouth and the lightly bearded square jaw.
Fernando seemed to consider her words before standing straight. “I guess I can buy that. After all, we didn’t get much sleep then, did we?”
County moved off the arm of the chair. Her cheeks burned as images of them together flashed before her eyes. The things he did to her, the things they did to each other. She thought about it everyday. Pleasure swirled through her at the mere memory of the delight she’d experienced. “What we did was a mistake-careless and immature. You must think I’m some sort of-“
“Stop,” he ordered then, his voice brooking no argument. “Don’t do that. I won’t let you do that.”
County raked shaking fingers across her dark cropped hair and turned. “Good night Ramsey,” she sang, preparing to head for the door.
He blocked her path, his size easily allowing him to do so.
Resist him, resist him, she sang, focusing on the breadth of his chest as she dared not look him in the eyes. Her lips parted when his hand settled to the curve of her hip. The massive expanse of his palm massaged her there before angling around the generous swell of her bottom. She moaned when one light tug brought her into his incredible frame. A tiny hiss of a curse rose from her tongue as a wealth of sensation flooded her senses.
For several torturous moments, Fernando cupped her derriere, squeezing and grinding her into the powerful stiffness below his waist. His lips brushed her brow, temple and the line of her cheek. Choosing to forget her resistance, Contessa sought his mouth with her own. His tongue thrust hot and masterfully and she welcomed the power of the act. Whimpering amidst the passionate lunges inside her mouth, County’s fingers curved weakly into his unyielding chest. When his tongue stroked the roof of her mouth and a low growl rose in his throat, Contessa felt her legs weaken. Fernando held her high to prevent her from slipping to the floor. His kiss was deep and branding-possession personified.
County scarcely noticed that he’d carried her with him to the front door. Her fingers were buried in the beautiful silk of his curly dark brown hair and she relished the power lying untapped within his magnificent frame.
“No going to that office of yours tomorrow. I’ll be here by nine A.M.,” he said.
“Okay,” she agreed, sounding every bit the obedient little girl while arching closer for just another taste of his kiss.
Fernando obliged, plying her with a few more sultry probes of his persuasive tongue. County’s eagerness and helpless murmurs into his mouth were almost his undoing, but he managed to ease away and set her to her feet.
“Goodnight,” he said, brushing a smudge of lipstick from her cheek before he walked out the door.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
JUN07 FEATURED AUTHOR: Camellia M. Johnson
SORMAG: Give the readers a brief bio on you the person and the writer.Camellia M. Johnson is a member of the Potter’s House where Bishop T.D. Jakes is founder and Pastor. She is a faithful member of the Golden Vessels Ministry where she prays and helps lead the elderly into praise and worship services monthly. She’s the author of the riveting and inspiring testimonial book entitled “What Now?” Camellia is an inspirational speaker and conference host, inspiring her brothers and sisters not to compromise their lifestyle for self, but for God. Visit Camellia’s website: www.camelliajohnson.com. Feel free to email her: prayer@camelliajohnson.com.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
JOHNSON: Brothers and Sisters, have you made a choice to love God more in your life? Love him more than, the pre-marital sex, more than the drugs, more than the lies or the adultery? This book takes you on a journey of choices that will reflect your sincere love for god. This love is shown in our everyday choices. So often-Christian singles don't get the unadulterated talks about abstaining from sex until marriage. Again Promiscuous Grace takes you on a single woman's season of decisions that show God's grace and love even in the dark hours of denial. This book will put you in the front seat of a woman's life only for you to evaluate your life choices. You can slip, fall and God will still love you and pull you back on the right road to recovery. You will also learn that God's grace is not to be taken advantage of or misused. You will see God's goodness propel you to be faithful to him. Are you ready to be honest with yourself? Let's begin the journey.
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
JOHNSON: To not get stuck in condemnation and that God is a forgiving God who loves us dearly. This book is not a license to sin but to show the compassion of God to come get you...right where you are and clean you up to be used for his glory.
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
JOHNSON: First, God said to write it for his children to know they are not alone. Secondly, it's not talked about in the church. Not about the real issues that saved single people go through.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
JOHNSON: No, because my characters are mixed with some many people it's easy.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
JOHNSON: Because mine are non-fiction mostly, it was healing and deliverance to me. A release of the old.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
JOHNSON: It starts with a decision to do it and write.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
JOHNSON: Holy Ghost Corner by Michele Brown!
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
JOHNSON: Massages, manicures, pedicures...anything that has to do with pampering.
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
JOHNSON: questions@camelliajohnson.com
www.camelliajohnson.com
P.O.BOX 382853
Duncanville, TX 75138
I can send autographed copies to those who send your requests through the mail. Books are $13.99 please include $2.00 for shipping and handling.
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
JOHNSON: To not get stuck in condemnation and that God is a forgiving God who loves us dearly. This book is not a license to sin but to show the compassion of God to come get you...right where you are and clean you up to be used for his glory.
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
JOHNSON: First, God said to write it for his children to know they are not alone. Secondly, it's not talked about in the church. Not about the real issues that saved single people go through.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
JOHNSON: No, because my characters are mixed with some many people it's easy.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
JOHNSON: Because mine are non-fiction mostly, it was healing and deliverance to me. A release of the old.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
JOHNSON: It starts with a decision to do it and write.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
JOHNSON: Holy Ghost Corner by Michele Brown!
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
JOHNSON: Massages, manicures, pedicures...anything that has to do with pampering.
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
JOHNSON: questions@camelliajohnson.com
www.camelliajohnson.com
P.O.BOX 382853
Duncanville, TX 75138
I can send autographed copies to those who send your requests through the mail. Books are $13.99 please include $2.00 for shipping and handling.
JUN 07 EXCERPT: Again Promiscuous Grace
Again Promiscuous Grace
by Camellia Johnson
Re-Birth of Old Issues
Memory Verse: “…for He (God) himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let you down (relax my hold on you!) Assuredly not!” Hebrews 13:5 (AMP)
After her husband died, leaving Camellia a widow and a single mother at the age of 29, Camellia experienced God’s love like never before. But in the midst of recovery and trying to re-establish her life, Camellia had to battle sexual desires and loneliness – two things she thought she would never have to face again after saying “I do.” Below is an excerpt from her latest release, Again Promiscuous Grace.
U R Not Alone!
Being single, I had to often remind myself that I am not alone. Sometimes I found my own entertainment, instead of getting in God’s presence. When I made those decisions it was like trying to take sugar out of a whip battered cake mix. That would be impossible, right? Satisfying my own loneliness is impossible because loneliness is a feeling. Feelings will come and go and they are based on your circumstances. Why go through that emotional roller coaster of wanting company, getting the wrong company and entertaining the wrong company. I hungered for communication, affection, security and fun from a male companion when the spirit of loneliness came on me. Only to realize satisfying the feeling still didn’t take away the loneliness permanently. Only temporarily.
When I tried to satisfy myself, the plan always failed. God is the only one who can talk and touch you like no other. I’ve found that talk and touch is just what I needed to get rid of that loneliness. God created us to commune with him. Be secure in him and show thanksgiving to his name. This is our reasonable service. We’re expected to worship, praise and commune with God. We must know that God is with us. We must know that we know that we know that God is always with us. Believe God is with you so that even when you feel lonely, you can experience God’s presence. The feeling is not the truth, but God’s love is the truth. Knowing the truth that God is with you can help you overcome feeling lonely. How? Get your mind off yourself and back on God. Think and meditate on God’s goodness. Think about what he has done in your life and will do. Get out your Bible and read the promises of God. Practice channeling your thoughts on God and doing his business. When you get busy doing this you will not have time or the desire to entertain loneliness. Besides, when loneliness does come, it’s an attack to get you off focus and detour you from the perfect will of God.
When it happens to me, I quickly think about the assignments, my sowing, meetings and prayer requests that need to be done. I take a mental note and give God glory for what has been completed and get to work on the un-completed tasks. What happened to the loneliness? While channeling my thoughts on the work I still needed to do for God that loneliness had to flee. Refuse to have a pity party due to loneliness. Don’t respond to the invitation to any pity party. Respond to God’s Holy Ghost party and have a good time glorifying God for his grace and mercy!
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
What's Happening at SORMAG - JUNE
The summer is finally here and SORMAG is ready to introduce you to your summer reads.
We have some great new authors this month. Stop by and meet them.
Meisha Camm – Urban Fiction - June 11th
Camellia Johnson – Christian Fiction - June 13th
AlTonya Washington – Romance Author - June 18th
Brittney Holmes – New Debut Author - June 25th
June Reviews will be posted on June 14th
Summer is the best time to take an online workshop. You still have time to register for a June workshop – http://sormag.com/schedule.html
In need of a summer read? Check out the books featured this month in SORMAG’s Bookstore – http://sormag.com/store.html
Don’t have time to do a real book tour – Try online – http://sormag.com/TOURS.html
Didn’t see your name in as a featured author, or in our bookstore? We have slots available for the upcoming months. Get your spot today – http://sormag.com/AUTHOR.html
We’re giving away four hot books this month. You can’t win if you don’t leave a comment.
That’s what’s happening at SORMAG this month. What’s going on with you? Stop by SORMAG and tell us. (FREE BOOK PLUG)
Tell us about your summer books - leave a comment here.
We have some great new authors this month. Stop by and meet them.
Meisha Camm – Urban Fiction - June 11th
Camellia Johnson – Christian Fiction - June 13th
AlTonya Washington – Romance Author - June 18th
Brittney Holmes – New Debut Author - June 25th
June Reviews will be posted on June 14th
Summer is the best time to take an online workshop. You still have time to register for a June workshop – http://sormag.com/schedule.html
In need of a summer read? Check out the books featured this month in SORMAG’s Bookstore – http://sormag.com/store.html
Don’t have time to do a real book tour – Try online – http://sormag.com/TOURS.html
Didn’t see your name in as a featured author, or in our bookstore? We have slots available for the upcoming months. Get your spot today – http://sormag.com/AUTHOR.html
We’re giving away four hot books this month. You can’t win if you don’t leave a comment.
That’s what’s happening at SORMAG this month. What’s going on with you? Stop by SORMAG and tell us. (FREE BOOK PLUG)
Tell us about your summer books - leave a comment here.
JUNE 07 EXCERPT - Mistress
by Meisha J. Camm
"The material things mean nothing to me. I stopped being materialistic a long time ago. What matters to me is that I have Jarrad by my side. Cravings for him run deep, sometimes to the point where I feel suffocated.
You want to know what's funny? I truly believed in my heart and soul Jarrad was going to leave his wife for me. I watch Oprah and Maury daily. I should've known better. Each time he says, "Baby, I'm going to ask her for the divorce soon," I roll my eyes and mumble to myself, "I'll believe that shit when I see it."
Monday, June 11, 2007
JUN07 FEATURED AUTHOR Meisha Camm
SORMAG: Please give the readers a brief bio on you the person and the writer.
Meisha Camm: I’m twenty seven and currently live in the Tidewater area of Virginia. Since the year 2003, I’ve been writing. Hidden Intentions and Mistress are two published books of mine.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
CAMM: Mistress is a story about a woman named Alexis. She’s strong, feisty and has a good head on her shoulders. All throughout her childhood, her parents fought which at times got violent because of her father’s cheating ways. Her mother, Vivian accepted her father, Robert back almost every time.
When Alexis grows up, she meets a man named Jarrad Simmons, an executive producer who reluctantly fails to tell her that he is married. By the time, she does find out the devastating news Alexis is already in love with Jarrad. She has a choice to make stick it with Jarrad who claims to be in the process of getting a divorce or cut her losses short and find someone else who’s available one hundred percent.
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
CAMM: I would like my readers to take away from the book that despite people may get into bad situations, we have choices to stay or get out. Each day, a person has the choice to change their life around for the good or bad. What choice will you choose? It’s not just in relationships, I look at every aspect of my life.
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
CAMM: At the time, one of my friends was seeing a married man. I saw the hurt and pain that she was going through so I decided to write a book about it.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
CAMM: No I don’t have a hard time letting go of a character. I want to write more books. If I get stuck on one character, it will be difficult to create a new character.
SORMAG: Why did you choose to write urban fiction?
CAMM: I chose urban fiction because it’s my favorite to read. Plus, I have a lot of fun writing these books.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
CAMM: I thought I wasn’t going to be able to write a book. Scared and not knowing where to turn to, I was discouraged. Back in 2003, I emailed Michael Baisden, who at the time just released, God’s Gift to Women. His marketing team emailed me with the basics of writing a book. Contacting the authors is a great way to get your questions answered.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
CAMM: Writing requires a lot of time and plenty of patience. It’s not easy writing a book but when someone has read something I created and enjoyed it, the feeling is priceless.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
CAMM: The last book which kept me up all night is a book entitled, Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger.
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
CAMM: Prioritizing my time is the best way I can get things finished. When writing a book, I set personal deadlines to get it done.
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
CAMM: My mailing address is P.O. Box 41380
Norfolk VA 23541
skyhigh7911@juno.com (email)
www.actionmeanschange.com (website)
www.myspace.com/meishacamm (my space)
Meisha Camm: I’m twenty seven and currently live in the Tidewater area of Virginia. Since the year 2003, I’ve been writing. Hidden Intentions and Mistress are two published books of mine.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
CAMM: Mistress is a story about a woman named Alexis. She’s strong, feisty and has a good head on her shoulders. All throughout her childhood, her parents fought which at times got violent because of her father’s cheating ways. Her mother, Vivian accepted her father, Robert back almost every time.
When Alexis grows up, she meets a man named Jarrad Simmons, an executive producer who reluctantly fails to tell her that he is married. By the time, she does find out the devastating news Alexis is already in love with Jarrad. She has a choice to make stick it with Jarrad who claims to be in the process of getting a divorce or cut her losses short and find someone else who’s available one hundred percent.
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
CAMM: I would like my readers to take away from the book that despite people may get into bad situations, we have choices to stay or get out. Each day, a person has the choice to change their life around for the good or bad. What choice will you choose? It’s not just in relationships, I look at every aspect of my life.
SORMAG: What led you to the idea of writing this book, and then to the actual writing of it?
CAMM: At the time, one of my friends was seeing a married man. I saw the hurt and pain that she was going through so I decided to write a book about it.
SORMAG: Do you ever have a hard time letting go of a character after the novel is finished?
CAMM: No I don’t have a hard time letting go of a character. I want to write more books. If I get stuck on one character, it will be difficult to create a new character.
SORMAG: Why did you choose to write urban fiction?
CAMM: I chose urban fiction because it’s my favorite to read. Plus, I have a lot of fun writing these books.
SORMAG: What was one of the most surprising things you learned in creating your books?
CAMM: I thought I wasn’t going to be able to write a book. Scared and not knowing where to turn to, I was discouraged. Back in 2003, I emailed Michael Baisden, who at the time just released, God’s Gift to Women. His marketing team emailed me with the basics of writing a book. Contacting the authors is a great way to get your questions answered.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
CAMM: Writing requires a lot of time and plenty of patience. It’s not easy writing a book but when someone has read something I created and enjoyed it, the feeling is priceless.
SORMAG: What was the last book to keep you up at night reading it?
CAMM: The last book which kept me up all night is a book entitled, Beautiful Lies by Lisa Unger.
SORMAG: What do you do to make time for yourself?
CAMM: Prioritizing my time is the best way I can get things finished. When writing a book, I set personal deadlines to get it done.
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
CAMM: My mailing address is P.O. Box 41380
Norfolk VA 23541
skyhigh7911@juno.com (email)
www.actionmeanschange.com (website)
www.myspace.com/meishacamm (my space)
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
JUN 07 E-tour -Hawkins, Jossel, Catrell
Keeping Up With The Joneses
by P. R. Hawkins
Risa James had everything except a love life.
When she meets JD Jones instant fireworks!
But he had five over protective sisters.
Does Risa have what it takes to Keep Up With The Jonses?
http://www.prhawkins.com/books.html
Wet
by Joylynn M. Jossel
Tye and Wade are inseparable identical twin brothers,
but will their love for the same woman break their bond?
Rhain Garett becomes the number one suspect
in a murder case involving an unusual love triangle.
www.joylynnjossel.com
Sex on the 2nd Floor:
or anywhere else you can get it!
by Jazz Catrell
When Jessica met Travis her mundane sex life
went to a full escalation of hot heated passion.
Was the sex real or does Jessica have a vivid imagination?
Will she succumb to the heated passion that lies deep in her soul?
The book can be purchased wherever books are sold!
Jazz Catrell lives in St. Louis with her family
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
MAY07 EXCERPT - BLESSED TRINITY
Blessed Trinity
By Vanessa Davis Griggs
Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)
Everybody wants to know how I, a nobody from nowhere, became a somebody about to sport the coveted last name of Landris. It just goes to show how people shouldn’t judge another without knowing what’s happening on the inside. And never, ever to underestimate the power of Faith!
Before I get ahead of myself, maybe I should begin at the beginning, since I’ve already told you the end. Don’t you just hate it when people flip to the back of a book and read the end before they even crack the beginning and middle just because they feel they have to know how it ends? Well, that won’t be the case here. The end is officially out, over and done with. Faith wins!
Now we can concentrate on the story, and how I managed to arrive here.
I am Faith. Not Hope—Hope is the timid one. You know, the one who crosses her fingers and wishes for the best. Not Charity. Sweet little Charity, the one who really believes love conquers all, and, if I’m truly honest, has been told she’s the greatest of the three of us. Both of them give up too easily. It’s like they’re not really sure what they want—a bit too wishy-washy for me.
But now me—I know what I want. And as a rule, I generally grab hold like a pit bull until I get it. Not by giving up at the first hint of opposition. Oh, no. You see, Faith recognizes the impossible, yet sees the invisible, and holds fast to the confession. I succeed because I stand by what I want as if I’m entitled to it.
And I am.
That’s why I claimed dear, charming Landris as mine the first time I laid eyes on him. God knows, it should be a sin for any man—let alone a man of God—to be so fine, smart, and good-looking, all swirled into one. Note to God: Needed—an 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not be so tempting.
So I “named it” and “claimed it,” right then and there. The man never stood a chance, not when it came to resisting me. Faith was at work; he was as good as mine.
“You can’t claim somebody else’s man,” Hope said to me when I shared my confession with her. I didn’t want to, but I had to tell someone. “You can’t impose your will over someone else’s. You just can’t!”
Dear Hope—always the practical one. She does have her own desires, but she chooses to live her life cautiously, always hoping. “Just in case it doesn’t work out,” she says, “at least I won’t be too disappointed.” She knows nothing about men, and if I’m honest here, even less about the power of Faith. That’s who I am: Faith Alexandria Morrell, and by tomorrow, the new Mrs. Landris.
From the beginning, it was the three of us: Faith, Hope, and Charity. Like water, steam, and ice—the same, but different. Water—easy and fluid, can flow anywhere, yet it’s strong enough to form a Grand Canyon. Steam—vapor like a spirit, practically invisible, yet leaves undeniable evidence of its existence. Dare I say, able to open, without detection, what some believe to be sealed for good, and create power never imagined probable, let alone possible. Ice—solid, steadfast and firm, can be grasped, handled, touched. Each the same, only a different form.
There’s one thing I would like to clear up here and now: Johnnie Mae Taylor Landris had her hands full even before she met me. There was her mother’s memory problem, and four siblings, three of whom were routinely uncooperative. She had a young daughter to raise within a brand-new marriage plus the demands of a writing career that required her to travel.
Her husband, the Right Reverend (and very handsome) Pastor George Landris, presided over a new ministry growing so fast it was making heads spin, especially for a church in Birmingham, Alabama. Now don’t get me wrong—I’m not putting down Birmingham. It’s just, who would have expected such a phenomenon to take place here? There were people who sold everything and moved from other states just to take part.
Can you blame them? Pastor Landris is a great teacher of the Bible. He definitely knows how to break down the Word of God. He’s unconventional and sure of himself. How else could he wear dreadlocks and get away with it? He’s the type who’ll rarely back down when he believes in something. Pastor Landris is the kind of man of God whom people will literally uproot their lives to follow.
Like Sapphire and Angela Gabriel. Although from what I heard, Miss Angel Gabriel (Angel is what she prefers being called) didn’t originally move from Asheville, North Carolina, to be part of this newfound ministry.
“Actually, I was supposed to be running a radio station,” Angel said with a smile. She and I worked closely on Johnnie Mae and Pastor’s marriage seminar material. We ended up talking, and that’s when I found out some interesting information. It turns out Pastor Landris had supposedly bought that same radio station in a deal that, incidentally, ended up blowing up in several folks’ faces. I’m talking big-time blowup! Of course, most people (including Miss Angel) quietly blame that costly misstep on Thomas, Pastor Landris’s older, yet equally good-looking and, might I add, talented brother.
So when Hope, Charity, and I showed up at the church in 2003 and inserted ourselves in these folks’ lives, things were already crazy. To our credit, we did try to help. And were you to ask Johnnie Mae, she would admit that I really was a blessing. And even if she were to deny it, I was—no ...I still am a blessing.
Don’t believe me? Okay, then you be the judge. Man can, and should, plan all he wants, but there are times when God has His own thoughts about the matter.
Romans 8:28 states, “And we know that all things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.”
Yes, for good to them who love God and who are called according to His purpose.
And I do love God.
Monday, May 28, 2007
MAY 07 FEATURED AUTHOR: Vanessa Davis Griggs
SORMAG: Please give the readers a brief bio on you the person and the writer.
Vanessa Davis Griggs: My name is Vanessa Davis Griggs. I’m a motivational speaker, an author, married, the mother of three sons, and the grandmother of two little girls. A former employee of BellSouth, I left after 18 years of service to pursue my call to write and speak. My novels include: Destiny Unlimited (out of print), The Rose of Jericho, Promises Beyond Jordan, Wings of Grace, and my latest release, Blessed Trinity.
SORMAG: Tell us about your current book?
DAVIS: Blessed Trinity is Book 1 of a trilogy which actually picks up where Wings of Grace left off. There’s a lot going on in this book as we learn a little more of what has happened with familiar characters such as Pastor George Landris and Johnnie Mae Taylor from previous books, while meeting a host of new characters like Faith Alexandria Morrell and her sisters, Hope and Charity. Needing help as they guard a devastating secret, this mysterious trio of sisters joins Followers of Jesus Faith Worship Center led by Pastor Landris. Only there’s a lot going on with Pastor Landris, the church as well as members of his family. How can Faith and her sisters find comfort when others in a position to help are wrestling with so many issues of their own? When one sister suffers a crushing collapse, faith may be the only way to unravel the mystery shadowing all concerned.
SORMAG: What would you like your readers to take away from your book?
DAVIS: Besides being entertained, I’d love for people to learn things they might not have known before they began reading the story. In Blessed Trinity, I deal with real life issues such as Bipolar Disorder, Alzheimer’s, the inner-workings of mega churches as well as family. I hope people take away the message of love—the things we’ll do for it or what we do because of it. It’s not a romance book though. So, if pure romance is your thing, this is not the book with it.
SORMAG: Tell us about your publishing experience?
DAVIS: Before I was published, I worked for BellSouth. When I left at the end of 1996, I didn’t have a book ready or a publisher waiting for me in the wings. After working on a book called Destiny Unlimited, I sought a traditional publisher, going through the normal rejection letters. But people kept asking for Destiny Unlimited so I decided to start my own publishing company (Free To Soar) and publish it myself. The truth is, I was really just trying to satisfy the few people who wanted copies so they would quit asking me about it. That was 1999. In 2000, I published my next novel: The Rose of Jericho. Unbeknownst to me then, this book would end up propelling me to places I never knew I’d go, namely, a sequel entitled: Promises Beyond Jordan (and to what has now become a series). That was 2001. At the end of 2002, I received a call from an editor at BET Books who wished to acquire the rights to Promises Beyond Jordan. I signed a two-book deal and Promises Beyond Jordan was republished in 2004 by BET Books/New Spirit followed by Wings of Grace in 2005. At the end of 2005, I was in talks with an editor at Kensington/Dafina. By the first of 2006, I signed a three-book deal with Dafina. Blessed Trinity, the first book in the trilogy, was released May 2007. It picks up where Wings of Grace left off. The second book in the trilogy will be released May 2008, with the third book slated for October 2008.
SORMAG: Do you think an agent is necessary?
DAVIS: I wouldn’t say an agent is necessary although I will say a person should do what’s right for them. When I say not necessary, there are several publishers who don’t require an agent for you to get a book deal. However, many people find an agent may be able to protect certain rights they would have normally signed away or an agent can possibly negotiate a better advance or overall deal. Also, there are a myriad of publishers who won’t allow a submission unless it’s from an agent. If you choose to go without an agent, then you need to hone your knowledge of publishing, publishing contracts specifically, and what’s involved to ensure that you end up with a good deal when it’s all said and done. I don’t have an agent, but I have been courted by one just recently in fact.
SORMAG: What one thing about writing do you wish other non-writers would understand?
DAVIS: That writers like to do different things in and with their writing. We don’t like to write the same things over and over again (most of us don’t, anyway). We desire for it to be exciting…fresh, but sometimes non-writers don’t understand what’s going on and they lash out with negative and hurtful comments as though people who write don’t have feelings. Of course, I tell people if they’re going to be writer, they need to develop a thick skin right from the start.
SORMAG: In honor of Mother’s Day, what is a special moment you shared with your mother?
DAVIS: My mother was out of town attending a funeral on Mother’s Day. So I decided to visit her the day before Mother’s Day. We had a great time with a few of my other siblings talking and laughing with our mother. I’d planned something special for Mother’s Day, but it’s like my mother told me: When it comes to us, Mother’s Day is everyday for her. So my special moment this year was watching my mother laugh and me being thankful that I was blessed to hear that wonderful sound one more time.
SORMAG: What is a favorite book from your childhood?
DAVIS: There’s a book I read when I was in elementary school, but I can’t remember the name of it for the life of me. Nevertheless, I can recall the story and how it made me feel. It was wonderful. I remember reading that book and The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman by Ernest J. Gaines and thinking that making people feel a story like I felt when reading these two was exactly how I wished I could someday make people feel. Mind you, I didn’t have any tangible aspirations of being an author (just wishful thinking; when I was growing up, people didn’t look at being an author as a job to attain to). I just knew I wanted whatever I did to always feel real to others. Now that I write professionally, that’s what I strive to do with each and every book I pen. I want to make you feel like you’re right there; and that whatever is happening, you’re quietly sneaking a look and a listen into their world.
SORMAG: What resources do you use on the net?
DAVIS: I’m appreciative of the various sites that promote and inform others about books. I also use Google to search my name. Many times, people may have something out there but didn’t tell me about it. Searching your own name is a great way to stay on top of what’s going on, especially if you’re an author. Of course, I have my own Web site which is a great asset. It allows people to check me and my books out or get photos of me and/or my books as needed without my having to send them. Recently, I’ve become active on MySpace.com which has been so much fun. I get to meet a lot of people, but what I found is that it’s given me yet another outlet to give back. I get messages all the time from aspiring writers or sometimes just people who need a little encouragement in life. Also, using MySpace.com has introduced people to my work who otherwise might not have ever known I existed. For certain, I’ve acquire new readers because of the net.
SORMAG: How can readers get in contact with you? (mail, email, website)
DAVIS: My Website: www.VanessaDavisGriggs.com
MySpace: www.MySpace.com/vanessadavisgriggs
My email address is: Vanessa@VanessaDavisGriggs.com
My snail mail: P. O. Box 101328, Birmingham, AL 35210
Saturday, May 26, 2007
MAY 07 EXCERPT: Once Is Never Enough
Excerpt of Once Is Never Enough by Margie Gosa Shivers
Chapter One
LESTER
1
Chicago, IL
December 18, 2000
Before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers, I’d begun the struggle to find balance in my life … to do the things I ought to do to make me feel good.
It was three weeks ago when I said goodbye to another unhappy marriage that had left me fatherless, still. Things that used to excite me no longer caused me to lift my eyebrows in wonderment, to form my mouth in a smile, or to tighten my stomach to laugh uncontrollably. It seemed as though everything and everybody around me moved at sixty miles per hour, like a cheetah, while I took the time to sit and think about what I was supposed to do that day. Perhaps I was medically or mentally ill and didn’t know it, I told myself. For sure, I was tired of chasing women.
Anyway, today, I stepped outside the main entrance to my high-rise condo building on South Shore Drive ready for another day of detective work. The air was cold enough to rapidly turn the bottle of water inside my gray wool coat into a “plastic stiff.”
My name is Lester Miller and I’m a homicide detective with the Chicago Police Department. Ordinarily I wouldn’t care if it was cloudy or snowing, unless it was a bright sunny day. Bare branches no longer displayed a rich green, but were now the color of fireplace ash, framing the rising sun as it tried to peek through a dark and foggy dawn. With any luck the temperature might hit 20°, more likely it would hit 20° below instead.
As I searched around inside my coat pockets for the second pair of gloves I’d bought in less than two weeks, I stepped on an icy spot and fell on my butt. “Damn!” I said, lifting my six-foot-tall body up from the pavement, not caring who saw me. I shook snow off of my coat and tilted my matching wool tam to the right side of my head, leaving my pride on the pavement.
My dark blue Aurora was in row one, stall three. I got in and cranked the engine. The matching gloves were on the seat. I put them on, pushed number 2 on the radio for 102.7 FM, and pulled out of the parking lot. A favorite Christmas tune, “Silent Night” by the Temptations, was playing on the “Tom Joyner Morning Show” mellowing my heart as I drove in traffic that crawled along on slippery streets. If it did anything for me it put me in the mood for the holidays, woman or no woman in my life.
Halfway to my precinct station, my cell phone rang. The caller ID registered the name of a police sergeant friend who lived three doors down from the house my ex-wife bought many months before the divorce. It had surprised the hell out of me to learn from my attorney that she had done that. But I tossed that shock over my shoulder like a grain of salt. I answered the phone.
“Hey buddy, what’s up?”
“Hey, I just got off the phone with my wife,” he said. “There’s been a drive-by shooting at Brenda’s house.” After I realized what he’d said I became worried.
“Is she alright?”
“I don’t know, man.”
“What time did it happen?”
“My wife said the gunshots woke her up at six o’clock this morning.”
I gazed at the car’s digital clock and saw that was well over an hour ago. Although I wasn’t on good terms with my ex and the incident had occurred outside my jurisdiction, I immediately rolled down the window to throw the beacon light on top of my car and put my pedal to the medal.
“Thanks, I’m headed over there now.” From my memory of the address, I could get there within 15 minutes, but slowing my rush to get to her neighborhood were unplowed snow-covered side streets.
When I arrived at Brenda’s house, two police cars were parked in front of the cute little brick bungalow with the brown roof and white window trim. By the absence of other emergency vehicles (like an ambulance or police van) I couldn’t be certain if she was alright. An officer standing on the sidewalk was questioning two women. Several onlookers were gathered in small groups.
I parked directly behind the second squad car. Glancing at the house, I could immediately tell that two of the three-panel windows were completely blown out. Whoever did it had to have used a serious weapon to do that much damage.
I got out and slowly walked on the icy asphalt entrance where I greeted a uniformed officer. Showing him my badge, I said, “Brenda is my ex-wife. Is she alright?”
“Yes and we’re about to wrap things up here,” he said.
“At this time of the morning, I don’t suppose there were witnesses?”
“Right, however a neighbor heard the gunshots and called 911,” he said, and gave me a brief update. He described shattered glass on the living room floor and how the police had collected several bullets that had lodged in the walls and sofa.
I thanked him, walked to the front door, and knocked. I heard Brenda’s voice on the other side.
“Come in,” she said.
Upon entering the foyer and closing the door behind me, I saw Brenda, in the living room near the windows. She wore a leather jacket on top of a pink bath robe, and was sweeping broken glass into a dustpan. Her hair was longer and her figure was definitely trimmer than the last time I saw her. That had been two weeks ago in divorce court. “Hello, Brenda. How are you?”
Holding the dustpan and wearing thick-soled house shoes, she stepped forward to greet me. “Lester! Oh, how did you find out?” She asked blinking her eyes, her mouth twisted in a half smile, probably shocked that I knew what had happened and couldn’t believe that I cared enough to check on her.
“I’m okay, just scared to death,” she said, taking a deep breath. She excused herself and disposed of the pan full of glass in the kitchen trashcan and then rejoined me a minute or so later. I reached out and held her hands. They felt cold and she was shivering.
“Sit and relax. I’ll get the rest of it.” I took the broom and swept up the remaining glass and found my way into her kitchen to dispose it. I returned and sat down beside her on the sofa. Air hissed from the cushion. She had always preferred leather to fabric on a sofa. Now that she was the boss of her abode, she had what she wanted.
“Are you alone?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“You want some help with covering the windows?”
“I called someone before you came. Thanks.”
“Where were you in the house when this happened?”
“I was in the shower when the sound of the glass breaking and gunshots in the house scared me half of out of mind. It took some time to gather my nerves before coming out of the bathroom. Soon I heard police sirens and knocks at my door. That’s when I figured it was safe,” she explained.
“Thank God you were in there. It appears your house is the only one that got the bullets. Besides your family and friends, who else knows that you moved here?”
She merely shrugged.
“By the way, the house is nice.” It was hard not to notice the sand-colored varnished floors and the wide, open hallway. A six-foot Christmas tree amply decorated and with a few wrapped boxes underneath it, stood near a wooden staircase that soared all the way to the height of the house. There was African artwork on the walls, landscape scenes done in artificial oils, and the entire landing was given over to plate glass. As would be expected of Brenda, live plants were appropriately placed around the living room creating a neat little garden scene. However, two small green plants were turned over onto the floor and I could see a few bullet holes in the walls.
“I like it,” she said. Owning a house was something she had wanted more than anything, even more than she wanted me, I’d suspected. The subject had been a bone of contention between us during our marriage almost as much as my wanting a family.
“This is a good neighborhood,” she said. “You hear about drive-by shootings all the time. Never thought this could happen to me. Now, I regret moving here.”
“Someone might be trying to hurt you. Ever consider that?” I got up and walked to look out the damaged window. There was little activity on the streets. The onlookers had dwindled down to a few neighbors standing and talking among themselves. The police cars were gone, too.
She got up and stood beside me, breathing deeply. “As far as enemies are concerned, I’m not aware of any,” she said.
“I see. How’s that principal’s position coming along?” It had been her goal to become a high school principal. A woman educated in Chicago’s public school system and having earned college degrees from Chicago State University and the University of Illinois, respectively, Brenda dedicated herself to her profession and especially to educating children. She had a good shot at realizing her dream.
“I took the test again and I think I passed.”
“Good for you.”
Turning to face her again, I asked, “Sure you can’t think of who could’ve done this?”
“Don’t ask me for names because I can’t give you any. Besides, as I said, I’ve no enemies that I know of.”
“Apparently you have one now. Have you considered staying with your sister for a while until you feel safe?” Her older sister was a gynecologist who owned a loft in Chicago’s downtown area. They were close enough for Brenda to be welcomed there.
“I’ll be fine,” she said.
“I hope so. You own a gun?”
“No,” she exhaled deeply and looked away for a hot second. Then I caught her staring. Sounding upbeat, she asked, “How’ve you been doing lately?”
“Okay.”
“That’s all you got to say?”
“Well, if you really want to know, I’m leaving Chicago. I’ll be working for the FBI in their professional support division.” To my dismay I had missed the age requirement by one year to qualify as a special agent. “I look forward to doing something other than chasing murderers and dealing with people who have little or no regard for the safety of women and children.”
“That’s for sure,” she said, coming closer with a friendlier smile on her face. “Although we didn’t make it as a couple, you truly care about the welfare of others. But why do you want to leave? What’re you running away from? It can’t be me.”
I had to work at holding in my smile. Somehow hearing her say the words and watching her reaction brought a certain satisfaction to my insides.
I met her gaze and didn’t blink. “I need air. I need to get out of Chicago so bad. It’ll be a fresh start for me.”
“Who’s the new woman in your life? You’re never without one,” she said, smiling.
Not that it’s any of her concern, I told myself. “Why do you want to know that?” I remained calm. No reason not to be. “You set me free, remember?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I was just wondering,” she said in a cool tone. Brenda’s words made me remember how she, a proud, strong woman, could still show her suspicious side and maintain her poise.
Suddenly, the slam of a car door made me turn and peek out one of the broken windows. A man hurried out of a black luxury car and headed toward the front door. As the doorbell rang, awkwardness set in and I stepped a few feet to Brenda’s right. It was her house so I let her be in charge.
I turned to look at Brenda who suddenly flushed guiltily as I caught her checking the time. Perhaps she was wishing that I hadn’t shown up.
She twisted her lips and rushed to the door. She could be in danger and I wanted to ask more questions. But I realized I had overstayed my brief welcome, at the same time remembering the old private Brenda wanted to know my business but not tell me hers.
“Stay away from the windows,” I said and started to put on my coat. But before I could exit her house, she opened the door to a tall man, an inch shorter than me, with a boyish handsome, copper-toned face. He walked inside rubbing his gloved hands together. I recognized him and that alone, alarmed me.
He reached up and tipped his brown leather-bibbed cap, allowing his gaze to soak in everything about me, every angle of my face. Surely he remembers seeing me a few weeks ago at Mario and Cara Fleming’s wedding reception. Did he deliberately choose my ex-wife to hang out with and if so, why?
“Come in, Duncan,” she said.
“Hi, I got here as fast as I could,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “You okay?”
“Yes, thank goodness.” She glanced at me as if to check my reaction. I felt her embarrassment and headed to the door to leave, but Brenda raised an eyebrow and shook her head slightly, so I decided to hang around a little while longer.
“Lester, this is my friend, Duncan Tate. Duncan, this is my ex-husband, Lester. Lester heard what happened here and stopped by to check on me.”
“What’s up? I’ve seen you around but I don’t think we ever met,” he said, his voice chilly. “Good to meet you.” He shook my hand with a grip that was almost painfully firm.
I bowed my head slightly in greeting while my stomach churned, reminding me how the world had started to grow smaller by the day. Thankfully, he mumbled something in Brenda’s ear, moved swiftly past her and walked down the hallway and into one of the rooms, probably the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him.
I felt the need for an immediate dose of air, the kind that I knew was waiting outside, chilled. I again headed for the door. I found myself wondering how long it would take me to get used to seeing Brenda regard Duncan with the same open and friendly trusting look she’d once given me. Surely, this was only a fleeting thought given our marital history. She followed me through the front door, closing it after us.
“I appreciate your concern but it’s time to let go now,” she said, giving me her familiar “serious look”. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore. I’ll be alright,” she added glancing back at the door.
Ignoring what was on my mind to say, and finding her new attitude totally justified, I said, “Sure. I have no problems doing that. Just be careful around this guy.”
“I don’t understand,” she said drawing her lips into a thin line. “Do you know Duncan?”
“Somewhat. How long have you been seeing him?”
“Not long. A coworker invited us both to Thanksgiving dinner at her house. She has a knack for not wanting single people to be alone during the holidays. So, what’s wrong with me dating Duncan?” Her smile faded as she added, “Look, I’m not in any position right now to doubt you, Lester. C’mon and tell me.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I did,” I said, recalling the adage about never telling someone everything you know. This especially applied to this situation. She seemed to be Duncan’s kind of a woman, but he was definitely not her kind of man.
“His wife committed suicide a few months ago,” I decided to say in a whisper. “Listen, I know you haven’t known him for long, but I can’t believe he hasn’t told you some important things about his life.”
“Really?” Brenda said, hotly. “Well, maybe Duncan’s got his reasons and he might be planning to tell me when the time is right. Anyway, how do you know that? And, what business is it of yours?” She demanded, hands clutching her hips, skin around her eyes crinkling.
“Obviously, you have the wrong impression about me, but that’s cool. I was not trying to interfere in your life,” I paused for a few moments and then added, “You know what Brenda? Have yourself a nice day. Sorry to have disturbed you.”
By now, my attitude rated as downright unfriendly.
A muscle in her jaw twitched as I started to walk away.
“Alright, Lester I’m sorry. Please don’t walk away.” Her voice softened. I turned to face her and let her continue. “Don’t think hard of me, but as free as I am and feel at this moment, I’m the one with bullet holes in my walls. Perhaps this wasn’t some random shooting. Somebody might be trying to kill me,” she paused before continuing. “So, I’ll ask you again, why shouldn’t I date Duncan?”
“Does he mean that much to you?” I asked and started to think. Whether it’s you or your ex who gets involved with someone else first, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you both recognize the reality: that there’s no going back, only moving forward to what will be. Plainly, it was over between us.
“Yes, but why do you care?” Brenda asked.
“Oh, what the hell,” I said, resisting the urge to tell her that Duncan sleeps with a politically corrupt guy named Cecil Hawkins. “Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. But, if you’re having sex with him, just make sure he shows you his recent HIV test results and never let him stick it in you again unless he’s wearing at least five condoms.
She looked at me like I was crazy.
I just walked away and headed straight to my car vowing never to return.
As I drove away from Brenda’s house heading to work, something snapped inside my head. Nearly 38 years old, recently divorced, no children to claim as my own - my life is screwed and tattooed. I must be doing something wrong. Some soul-searching had made me accept that as far as falling in love was concerned, I’d missed the boat.
I’d lost Cara Fleming, the woman of my dreams less than a month ago. Suddenly without warning, she dumped me. I even went to their wedding ceremony. Much to my surprise, her father offered to let me walk her down the aisle in his place, in honor of being her friend and keeping her safe. There was nothing honorable about it, nothing heinous either.
I felt truly appreciated at least by someone. But I turned the offer down. A man has to draw the line somewhere.
Yet, I still hold Cara Fleming inside me. I can’t have her; but knowing that doesn’t stop me from loving, needing, and wanting her. I still seek meaning to the feelings and an explanation for the heartache. At the same time, though, like all the women over the years, she’s my past and that’s how I am sure she will remain.
I can’t help asking myself: Where is the woman I’m destined to be with for the rest of my life? I know there are plenty of good women out there just waiting to meet a man who will love, respect and support them. They can’t all be married. Where is the woman for me?
Even two damn divorces haven’t given me peace of mind. Both were career-minded schoolteachers. Neither of them wanted children. The first wife (Jessica), aborted our baby without telling me that she was pregnant. That marriage ended seven years ago.
Brenda, the second wife, divorced me earlier this month. When I saw her at the municipal court building that day, she still looked good enough to catch and keep any man’s attention on her at first glance. No one could tell me that we didn’t have the ideal marriage or that we wouldn’t someday celebrate our golden anniversary! A six-figure combined income gave us a modest life in our lakefront condo on South Shore Drive. We put away a few bucks every payday. There was extra money to spend on clothes, on entertainment, and on an active social life.
Sex between us was frequent and nothing less than hot and steamy. Believe me, I knew how to please her. I also believed we were going to have a good life together built on mutual affection and trust, and that we would have the house and children we both wanted. I lived up to my end of the bargain... partially, that is.
Before the four-year marriage ended, Brenda and I had a lot of fun trying to make a baby: sex before going to work and again every night.
But as much as I enjoyed making love to Brenda, I soon became tired of trying. She put the blame on my sperm. So we had fertility tests done that proved nothing was wrong with either of us.
Then one day, she was careless. I’d come home early to get some shut-eye after working a double. She had arrived home a few minutes before me and left the opened pill case on the bathroom vanity. I saw it and suddenly realized why pregnancy had eluded us for so long. Our conversation is still hard to forget:
“You don’t seem to be gaining any weight,” I had said, holding down my anger and hurt.
“What do you mean by that? I thought you wanted me to stay slim and look nice for you?”
“Yeah, I do, but that’s not what I’m getting at. We’ve been married two years now. Quite frankly, I’ve been waiting to hear you me tell that you’re pregnant,” I had said snatching up the pill case and thrusting it close to her face.
She looked momentarily shocked. “I’m sorry to tell you this now,” she said. “But the truth is I don’t want to bring a child into this world until I’m ready. Why can’t the two of us just be happy together?”
Well, time went on and so did living together under the same roof. But we were stuck on cruise control; no highs, no lows, no passion. Unable to lose the pain, I lost myself in work. Brenda was always mad at me for it.
I’ve never had any problems attracting women and I’m ashamed to say, there were just too many of them too good to pass up. What’s worst, I didn’t know how to pass them up and didn’t care to know.
Believe it or not, I’d always prided myself on being a good judge of character, but was sure I had misjudged Brenda. If the woman I had protected from gangs (male and female) in high school and who had been a good friend for ten years could betray my trust, what woman could I trust? From that point on I resolved that female companions would join me at their own risk. So I dated a few and went out of my way to avoid misleading them about my being married.
Actually, neither Brenda nor I were angels, so to speak. She started to have affairs. I didn’t force the issue with her. Maybe I was afraid she’d leave me.
It didn’t take long for us to not like each other. Things between us just got worse. I didn’t have any answers and, as usual, couldn’t deal with anything that caused me pain. It took me until now to realize that I didn’t know how.
Believing it was “cheaper to keep her,” I pretended that all was well. I knew that I wasn’t going to win the battle, but knowing that never seemed to matter to me because I was willing to hang in there anyway. She would go off into an emotional tirade, making it difficult for me to have the responsible conversation I wanted to have with her. Man, was that an eye-opener? If the exciting and loving woman of my dreams existed, it was unlikely that I was ever going to find her. However, if I wanted a wife and children of my own I would simply have to be more realistic about what I expected in a wife.
What I didn’t know was that we were like two fools riding on a ship, battling an imperfect storm, yet somehow still going in different directions. Staying the rugged course could only make for a rough, unpleasant, and possibly dangerous ride.
The ride was over when she came to me one night in late February 2000 after a quiet dinner at home and said, “Neither of us is happy. Why hold onto a dead marriage? The way we’re living our lives is not good for you or me.”
“I’m sorry that you feel this way. Are you sure this is what you really want?”
“It’s too late, Lester. The things that really matter to both of us aren’t the same. You want children and I’m not ready. Actually, I never told you this, but I’m afraid to go through all the physical pain of having a baby. And, don’t forget that we aren’t upholding our vows either. Why do you feel it should be any different now?” Then she added, “But, I’m not leaving empty handed.”
“Why should I have to pay to end this farce of a marriage?” I screamed. Well, I lost that battle, too. In the end she got what she wanted: money. I retained ownership of my condo, which had been mine before I married her. Painfully, I share the culpability ---- always part of the problem, never the solution.
I regret that my police work kept me from spending more time with Brenda. Sometimes I wish I could do it over again, to make better choices, arrange my priorities and spend more time lavishing the attention she craved, and waiting until she was ready to give me a child. Maybe that would’ve worked to my advantage.
Ha! Who am I kidding? I thought, pulling into the lot at the Area One police station. Knowing me, the same mistakes would’ve been repeated simply because the thought of a childless marriage would make me realize I could never be happy. I wanted a child with my blood in his or her veins. Believing that I’d be so lucky to have a good woman and a family to make my life complete was a no-brainer. I wanted a child so badly that I would’ve accepted adopting one. Was I wrong to want Brenda to take a career vacation and have at least one child? I think not. Especially since I was willing to put aside time in my hectic career to not only bring home the bacon, but to help raise the child, too!
Oh yeah, professionally speaking, I’m at the top of my game. My 14 years on the Chicago police force have been my escape, my joy, my nourishment, the reason that I get up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed five days a week for work.
Recently I took a look at life; the people and things around me. Everything had changed. As far as I know, this is the only life I will have. Of course, there’s always the possibility of reincarnation, but hey, the thought that I might come back as a giraffe, a skunk, or a clawing lion haunts me!
Sometimes I feel as though I’m paddling through raging, icy cold, swirling water, like being sucked down a toilet drain. “Using what I got” seemingly hasn’t been enough.
Although blessed naturally to be good in some things yet a piss-poor chump in others, I’m a man who can’t hold a marriage together. That’s me. Blessed to have tasted success here and there in some areas of life, yet, I sucked in others, particularly in my personal life.
I suppose that’s what makes me human and imperfect like everyone else.
As my late mama, Bernice, would occasionally say during my growing up years on Chicago’s West Side, “Lester, if you keep doing the same old things the same old way, you’re going to keep getting the same old results.”
----------------------------------------
1
Chicago, IL
December 18, 2000
Before the ink was even dry on the divorce papers, I’d begun the struggle to find balance in my life … to do the things I ought to do to make me feel good.
It was three weeks ago when I said goodbye to another unhappy marriage that had left me fatherless, still. Things that used to excite me no longer caused me to lift my eyebrows in wonderment, to form my mouth in a smile, or to tighten my stomach to laugh uncontrollably. It seemed as though everything and everybody around me moved at sixty miles per hour, like a cheetah, while I took the time to sit and think about what I was supposed to do that day. Perhaps I was medically or mentally ill and didn’t know it, I told myself. For sure, I was tired of chasing women.
Anyway, today, I stepped outside the main entrance to my high-rise condo building on South Shore Drive ready for another day of detective work. The air was cold enough to rapidly turn the bottle of water inside my gray wool coat into a “plastic stiff.”
My name is Lester Miller and I’m a homicide detective with the Chicago Police Department. Ordinarily I wouldn’t care if it was cloudy or snowing, unless it was a bright sunny day. Bare branches no longer displayed a rich green, but were now the color of fireplace ash, framing the rising sun as it tried to peek through a dark and foggy dawn. With any luck the temperature might hit 20°, more likely it would hit 20° below instead.
As I searched around inside my coat pockets for the second pair of gloves I’d bought in less than two weeks, I stepped on an icy spot and fell on my butt. “Damn!” I said, lifting my six-foot-tall body up from the pavement, not caring who saw me. I shook snow off of my coat and tilted my matching wool tam to the right side of my head, leaving my pride on the pavement.
My dark blue Aurora was in row one, stall three. I got in and cranked the engine. The matching gloves were on the seat. I put them on, pushed number 2 on the radio for 102.7 FM, and pulled out of the parking lot. A favorite Christmas tune, “Silent Night” by the Temptations, was playing on the “Tom Joyner Morning Show” mellowing my heart as I drove in traffic that crawled along on slippery streets. If it did anything for me it put me in the mood for the holidays, woman or no woman in my life.
Halfway to my precinct station, my cell phone rang. The caller ID registered the name of a police sergeant friend who lived three doors down from the house my ex-wife bought many months before the divorce. It had surprised the hell out of me to learn from my attorney that she had done that. But I tossed that shock over my shoulder like a grain of salt. I answered the phone.
“Hey buddy, what’s up?”
“Hey, I just got off the phone with my wife,” he said. “There’s been a drive-by shooting at Brenda’s house.” After I realized what he’d said I became worried.
“Is she alright?”
“I don’t know, man.”
“What time did it happen?”
“My wife said the gunshots woke her up at six o’clock this morning.”
I gazed at the car’s digital clock and saw that was well over an hour ago. Although I wasn’t on good terms with my ex and the incident had occurred outside my jurisdiction, I immediately rolled down the window to throw the beacon light on top of my car and put my pedal to the medal.
“Thanks, I’m headed over there now.” From my memory of the address, I could get there within 15 minutes, but slowing my rush to get to her neighborhood were unplowed snow-covered side streets.
When I arrived at Brenda’s house, two police cars were parked in front of the cute little brick bungalow with the brown roof and white window trim. By the absence of other emergency vehicles (like an ambulance or police van) I couldn’t be certain if she was alright. An officer standing on the sidewalk was questioning two women. Several onlookers were gathered in small groups.
I parked directly behind the second squad car. Glancing at the house, I could immediately tell that two of the three-panel windows were completely blown out. Whoever did it had to have used a serious weapon to do that much damage.
I got out and slowly walked on the icy asphalt entrance where I greeted a uniformed officer. Showing him my badge, I said, “Brenda is my ex-wife. Is she alright?”
“Yes and we’re about to wrap things up here,” he said.
“At this time of the morning, I don’t suppose there were witnesses?”
“Right, however a neighbor heard the gunshots and called 911,” he said, and gave me a brief update. He described shattered glass on the living room floor and how the police had collected several bullets that had lodged in the walls and sofa.
I thanked him, walked to the front door, and knocked. I heard Brenda’s voice on the other side.
“Come in,” she said.
Upon entering the foyer and closing the door behind me, I saw Brenda, in the living room near the windows. She wore a leather jacket on top of a pink bath robe, and was sweeping broken glass into a dustpan. Her hair was longer and her figure was definitely trimmer than the last time I saw her. That had been two weeks ago in divorce court. “Hello, Brenda. How are you?”
Holding the dustpan and wearing thick-soled house shoes, she stepped forward to greet me. “Lester! Oh, how did you find out?” She asked blinking her eyes, her mouth twisted in a half smile, probably shocked that I knew what had happened and couldn’t believe that I cared enough to check on her.
“I’m okay, just scared to death,” she said, taking a deep breath. She excused herself and disposed of the pan full of glass in the kitchen trashcan and then rejoined me a minute or so later. I reached out and held her hands. They felt cold and she was shivering.
“Sit and relax. I’ll get the rest of it.” I took the broom and swept up the remaining glass and found my way into her kitchen to dispose it. I returned and sat down beside her on the sofa. Air hissed from the cushion. She had always preferred leather to fabric on a sofa. Now that she was the boss of her abode, she had what she wanted.
“Are you alone?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“You want some help with covering the windows?”
“I called someone before you came. Thanks.”
“Where were you in the house when this happened?”
“I was in the shower when the sound of the glass breaking and gunshots in the house scared me half of out of mind. It took some time to gather my nerves before coming out of the bathroom. Soon I heard police sirens and knocks at my door. That’s when I figured it was safe,” she explained.
“Thank God you were in there. It appears your house is the only one that got the bullets. Besides your family and friends, who else knows that you moved here?”
She merely shrugged.
“By the way, the house is nice.” It was hard not to notice the sand-colored varnished floors and the wide, open hallway. A six-foot Christmas tree amply decorated and with a few wrapped boxes underneath it, stood near a wooden staircase that soared all the way to the height of the house. There was African artwork on the walls, landscape scenes done in artificial oils, and the entire landing was given over to plate glass. As would be expected of Brenda, live plants were appropriately placed around the living room creating a neat little garden scene. However, two small green plants were turned over onto the floor and I could see a few bullet holes in the walls.
“I like it,” she said. Owning a house was something she had wanted more than anything, even more than she wanted me, I’d suspected. The subject had been a bone of contention between us during our marriage almost as much as my wanting a family.
“This is a good neighborhood,” she said. “You hear about drive-by shootings all the time. Never thought this could happen to me. Now, I regret moving here.”
“Someone might be trying to hurt you. Ever consider that?” I got up and walked to look out the damaged window. There was little activity on the streets. The onlookers had dwindled down to a few neighbors standing and talking among themselves. The police cars were gone, too.
She got up and stood beside me, breathing deeply. “As far as enemies are concerned, I’m not aware of any,” she said.
“I see. How’s that principal’s position coming along?” It had been her goal to become a high school principal. A woman educated in Chicago’s public school system and having earned college degrees from Chicago State University and the University of Illinois, respectively, Brenda dedicated herself to her profession and especially to educating children. She had a good shot at realizing her dream.
“I took the test again and I think I passed.”
“Good for you.”
Turning to face her again, I asked, “Sure you can’t think of who could’ve done this?”
“Don’t ask me for names because I can’t give you any. Besides, as I said, I’ve no enemies that I know of.”
“Apparently you have one now. Have you considered staying with your sister for a while until you feel safe?” Her older sister was a gynecologist who owned a loft in Chicago’s downtown area. They were close enough for Brenda to be welcomed there.
“I’ll be fine,” she said.
“I hope so. You own a gun?”
“No,” she exhaled deeply and looked away for a hot second. Then I caught her staring. Sounding upbeat, she asked, “How’ve you been doing lately?”
“Okay.”
“That’s all you got to say?”
“Well, if you really want to know, I’m leaving Chicago. I’ll be working for the FBI in their professional support division.” To my dismay I had missed the age requirement by one year to qualify as a special agent. “I look forward to doing something other than chasing murderers and dealing with people who have little or no regard for the safety of women and children.”
“That’s for sure,” she said, coming closer with a friendlier smile on her face. “Although we didn’t make it as a couple, you truly care about the welfare of others. But why do you want to leave? What’re you running away from? It can’t be me.”
I had to work at holding in my smile. Somehow hearing her say the words and watching her reaction brought a certain satisfaction to my insides.
I met her gaze and didn’t blink. “I need air. I need to get out of Chicago so bad. It’ll be a fresh start for me.”
“Who’s the new woman in your life? You’re never without one,” she said, smiling.
Not that it’s any of her concern, I told myself. “Why do you want to know that?” I remained calm. No reason not to be. “You set me free, remember?”
“Don’t get me wrong, I was just wondering,” she said in a cool tone. Brenda’s words made me remember how she, a proud, strong woman, could still show her suspicious side and maintain her poise.
Suddenly, the slam of a car door made me turn and peek out one of the broken windows. A man hurried out of a black luxury car and headed toward the front door. As the doorbell rang, awkwardness set in and I stepped a few feet to Brenda’s right. It was her house so I let her be in charge.
I turned to look at Brenda who suddenly flushed guiltily as I caught her checking the time. Perhaps she was wishing that I hadn’t shown up.
She twisted her lips and rushed to the door. She could be in danger and I wanted to ask more questions. But I realized I had overstayed my brief welcome, at the same time remembering the old private Brenda wanted to know my business but not tell me hers.
“Stay away from the windows,” I said and started to put on my coat. But before I could exit her house, she opened the door to a tall man, an inch shorter than me, with a boyish handsome, copper-toned face. He walked inside rubbing his gloved hands together. I recognized him and that alone, alarmed me.
He reached up and tipped his brown leather-bibbed cap, allowing his gaze to soak in everything about me, every angle of my face. Surely he remembers seeing me a few weeks ago at Mario and Cara Fleming’s wedding reception. Did he deliberately choose my ex-wife to hang out with and if so, why?
“Come in, Duncan,” she said.
“Hi, I got here as fast as I could,” he said, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “You okay?”
“Yes, thank goodness.” She glanced at me as if to check my reaction. I felt her embarrassment and headed to the door to leave, but Brenda raised an eyebrow and shook her head slightly, so I decided to hang around a little while longer.
“Lester, this is my friend, Duncan Tate. Duncan, this is my ex-husband, Lester. Lester heard what happened here and stopped by to check on me.”
“What’s up? I’ve seen you around but I don’t think we ever met,” he said, his voice chilly. “Good to meet you.” He shook my hand with a grip that was almost painfully firm.
I bowed my head slightly in greeting while my stomach churned, reminding me how the world had started to grow smaller by the day. Thankfully, he mumbled something in Brenda’s ear, moved swiftly past her and walked down the hallway and into one of the rooms, probably the bathroom. He slammed the door behind him.
I felt the need for an immediate dose of air, the kind that I knew was waiting outside, chilled. I again headed for the door. I found myself wondering how long it would take me to get used to seeing Brenda regard Duncan with the same open and friendly trusting look she’d once given me. Surely, this was only a fleeting thought given our marital history. She followed me through the front door, closing it after us.
“I appreciate your concern but it’s time to let go now,” she said, giving me her familiar “serious look”. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore. I’ll be alright,” she added glancing back at the door.
Ignoring what was on my mind to say, and finding her new attitude totally justified, I said, “Sure. I have no problems doing that. Just be careful around this guy.”
“I don’t understand,” she said drawing her lips into a thin line. “Do you know Duncan?”
“Somewhat. How long have you been seeing him?”
“Not long. A coworker invited us both to Thanksgiving dinner at her house. She has a knack for not wanting single people to be alone during the holidays. So, what’s wrong with me dating Duncan?” Her smile faded as she added, “Look, I’m not in any position right now to doubt you, Lester. C’mon and tell me.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I did,” I said, recalling the adage about never telling someone everything you know. This especially applied to this situation. She seemed to be Duncan’s kind of a woman, but he was definitely not her kind of man.
“His wife committed suicide a few months ago,” I decided to say in a whisper. “Listen, I know you haven’t known him for long, but I can’t believe he hasn’t told you some important things about his life.”
“Really?” Brenda said, hotly. “Well, maybe Duncan’s got his reasons and he might be planning to tell me when the time is right. Anyway, how do you know that? And, what business is it of yours?” She demanded, hands clutching her hips, skin around her eyes crinkling.
“Obviously, you have the wrong impression about me, but that’s cool. I was not trying to interfere in your life,” I paused for a few moments and then added, “You know what Brenda? Have yourself a nice day. Sorry to have disturbed you.”
By now, my attitude rated as downright unfriendly.
A muscle in her jaw twitched as I started to walk away.
“Alright, Lester I’m sorry. Please don’t walk away.” Her voice softened. I turned to face her and let her continue. “Don’t think hard of me, but as free as I am and feel at this moment, I’m the one with bullet holes in my walls. Perhaps this wasn’t some random shooting. Somebody might be trying to kill me,” she paused before continuing. “So, I’ll ask you again, why shouldn’t I date Duncan?”
“Does he mean that much to you?” I asked and started to think. Whether it’s you or your ex who gets involved with someone else first, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that you both recognize the reality: that there’s no going back, only moving forward to what will be. Plainly, it was over between us.
“Yes, but why do you care?” Brenda asked.
“Oh, what the hell,” I said, resisting the urge to tell her that Duncan sleeps with a politically corrupt guy named Cecil Hawkins. “Maybe I shouldn’t be the one to tell you this. But, if you’re having sex with him, just make sure he shows you his recent HIV test results and never let him stick it in you again unless he’s wearing at least five condoms.
She looked at me like I was crazy.
I just walked away and headed straight to my car vowing never to return.
As I drove away from Brenda’s house heading to work, something snapped inside my head. Nearly 38 years old, recently divorced, no children to claim as my own - my life is screwed and tattooed. I must be doing something wrong. Some soul-searching had made me accept that as far as falling in love was concerned, I’d missed the boat.
I’d lost Cara Fleming, the woman of my dreams less than a month ago. Suddenly without warning, she dumped me. I even went to their wedding ceremony. Much to my surprise, her father offered to let me walk her down the aisle in his place, in honor of being her friend and keeping her safe. There was nothing honorable about it, nothing heinous either.
I felt truly appreciated at least by someone. But I turned the offer down. A man has to draw the line somewhere.
Yet, I still hold Cara Fleming inside me. I can’t have her; but knowing that doesn’t stop me from loving, needing, and wanting her. I still seek meaning to the feelings and an explanation for the heartache. At the same time, though, like all the women over the years, she’s my past and that’s how I am sure she will remain.
I can’t help asking myself: Where is the woman I’m destined to be with for the rest of my life? I know there are plenty of good women out there just waiting to meet a man who will love, respect and support them. They can’t all be married. Where is the woman for me?
Even two damn divorces haven’t given me peace of mind. Both were career-minded schoolteachers. Neither of them wanted children. The first wife (Jessica), aborted our baby without telling me that she was pregnant. That marriage ended seven years ago.
Brenda, the second wife, divorced me earlier this month. When I saw her at the municipal court building that day, she still looked good enough to catch and keep any man’s attention on her at first glance. No one could tell me that we didn’t have the ideal marriage or that we wouldn’t someday celebrate our golden anniversary! A six-figure combined income gave us a modest life in our lakefront condo on South Shore Drive. We put away a few bucks every payday. There was extra money to spend on clothes, on entertainment, and on an active social life.
Sex between us was frequent and nothing less than hot and steamy. Believe me, I knew how to please her. I also believed we were going to have a good life together built on mutual affection and trust, and that we would have the house and children we both wanted. I lived up to my end of the bargain... partially, that is.
Before the four-year marriage ended, Brenda and I had a lot of fun trying to make a baby: sex before going to work and again every night.
But as much as I enjoyed making love to Brenda, I soon became tired of trying. She put the blame on my sperm. So we had fertility tests done that proved nothing was wrong with either of us.
Then one day, she was careless. I’d come home early to get some shut-eye after working a double. She had arrived home a few minutes before me and left the opened pill case on the bathroom vanity. I saw it and suddenly realized why pregnancy had eluded us for so long. Our conversation is still hard to forget:
“You don’t seem to be gaining any weight,” I had said, holding down my anger and hurt.
“What do you mean by that? I thought you wanted me to stay slim and look nice for you?”
“Yeah, I do, but that’s not what I’m getting at. We’ve been married two years now. Quite frankly, I’ve been waiting to hear you me tell that you’re pregnant,” I had said snatching up the pill case and thrusting it close to her face.
She looked momentarily shocked. “I’m sorry to tell you this now,” she said. “But the truth is I don’t want to bring a child into this world until I’m ready. Why can’t the two of us just be happy together?”
Well, time went on and so did living together under the same roof. But we were stuck on cruise control; no highs, no lows, no passion. Unable to lose the pain, I lost myself in work. Brenda was always mad at me for it.
I’ve never had any problems attracting women and I’m ashamed to say, there were just too many of them too good to pass up. What’s worst, I didn’t know how to pass them up and didn’t care to know.
Believe it or not, I’d always prided myself on being a good judge of character, but was sure I had misjudged Brenda. If the woman I had protected from gangs (male and female) in high school and who had been a good friend for ten years could betray my trust, what woman could I trust? From that point on I resolved that female companions would join me at their own risk. So I dated a few and went out of my way to avoid misleading them about my being married.
Actually, neither Brenda nor I were angels, so to speak. She started to have affairs. I didn’t force the issue with her. Maybe I was afraid she’d leave me.
It didn’t take long for us to not like each other. Things between us just got worse. I didn’t have any answers and, as usual, couldn’t deal with anything that caused me pain. It took me until now to realize that I didn’t know how.
Believing it was “cheaper to keep her,” I pretended that all was well. I knew that I wasn’t going to win the battle, but knowing that never seemed to matter to me because I was willing to hang in there anyway. She would go off into an emotional tirade, making it difficult for me to have the responsible conversation I wanted to have with her. Man, was that an eye-opener? If the exciting and loving woman of my dreams existed, it was unlikely that I was ever going to find her. However, if I wanted a wife and children of my own I would simply have to be more realistic about what I expected in a wife.
What I didn’t know was that we were like two fools riding on a ship, battling an imperfect storm, yet somehow still going in different directions. Staying the rugged course could only make for a rough, unpleasant, and possibly dangerous ride.
The ride was over when she came to me one night in late February 2000 after a quiet dinner at home and said, “Neither of us is happy. Why hold onto a dead marriage? The way we’re living our lives is not good for you or me.”
“I’m sorry that you feel this way. Are you sure this is what you really want?”
“It’s too late, Lester. The things that really matter to both of us aren’t the same. You want children and I’m not ready. Actually, I never told you this, but I’m afraid to go through all the physical pain of having a baby. And, don’t forget that we aren’t upholding our vows either. Why do you feel it should be any different now?” Then she added, “But, I’m not leaving empty handed.”
“Why should I have to pay to end this farce of a marriage?” I screamed. Well, I lost that battle, too. In the end she got what she wanted: money. I retained ownership of my condo, which had been mine before I married her. Painfully, I share the culpability ---- always part of the problem, never the solution.
I regret that my police work kept me from spending more time with Brenda. Sometimes I wish I could do it over again, to make better choices, arrange my priorities and spend more time lavishing the attention she craved, and waiting until she was ready to give me a child. Maybe that would’ve worked to my advantage.
Ha! Who am I kidding? I thought, pulling into the lot at the Area One police station. Knowing me, the same mistakes would’ve been repeated simply because the thought of a childless marriage would make me realize I could never be happy. I wanted a child with my blood in his or her veins. Believing that I’d be so lucky to have a good woman and a family to make my life complete was a no-brainer. I wanted a child so badly that I would’ve accepted adopting one. Was I wrong to want Brenda to take a career vacation and have at least one child? I think not. Especially since I was willing to put aside time in my hectic career to not only bring home the bacon, but to help raise the child, too!
Oh yeah, professionally speaking, I’m at the top of my game. My 14 years on the Chicago police force have been my escape, my joy, my nourishment, the reason that I get up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed five days a week for work.
Recently I took a look at life; the people and things around me. Everything had changed. As far as I know, this is the only life I will have. Of course, there’s always the possibility of reincarnation, but hey, the thought that I might come back as a giraffe, a skunk, or a clawing lion haunts me!
Sometimes I feel as though I’m paddling through raging, icy cold, swirling water, like being sucked down a toilet drain. “Using what I got” seemingly hasn’t been enough.
Although blessed naturally to be good in some things yet a piss-poor chump in others, I’m a man who can’t hold a marriage together. That’s me. Blessed to have tasted success here and there in some areas of life, yet, I sucked in others, particularly in my personal life.
I suppose that’s what makes me human and imperfect like everyone else.
As my late mama, Bernice, would occasionally say during my growing up years on Chicago’s West Side, “Lester, if you keep doing the same old things the same old way, you’re going to keep getting the same old results.”
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About Me
- LaShaunda
- I believe in promoting authors and their books. Let me introduce you and your books to online readers.
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